Thoughts

Good morning. I wasn’t going to write anything today but am kind of in the middle of a lot of things with no direct path forward. For example, it’s too early to watch a movie (in my book, anyway) so I don’t want to watch Harry Potter. I’m to the point on the skirt of Kim’s dress that I need things I don’t have to continue. I’m at a point on the bodice that I am rethinking the top layer because I want it to look good. This isn’t to say that I have nothing on my mind other than a bodice because other than that I have cleaning house to do and books to read, dinner to think about, etc.

BB gun cooperation with James.

And then there is life. As you probably have heard, Robin Williams died yesterday. Very sad. From what I’ve read, it appears that it was likely suicide and that he’d been battling depression. The reason I decided to write this morning is because of a comment that I saw on Facebook about really good comedians winding up suicidal. Is it really a surprise? To me, it is not. When I am hurting inside, it is quite easy to smile and put up a false front so that no one knows how I really feel or what I’m really thinking. Why did I not stay at church the last time I wrote? Because I didn’t want to have to put up a front and pretend.

Archery. This and soccer were his favorite things at camp.

Some comedians are really funny. Robin Williams is one of the few that I’ve ever really liked. Is it surprising that he suffered from depression? No. Is it surprising knowing this that he wanted a way out? No. It is sad that it happened, but it is also life. Sometimes people can’t see a way out or have trouble dealing with the hand they’ve been dealt. Sometimes, as I read in a blog recently (which I have been unable to find for the link), suicide is actually the brave choice, not the easy way out that we’ve kind of been conditioned to believe it to be. This isn’t to say that I believe suicide is a good idea, but I do believe that some people come to think that it is their only option. And it isn’t our job to judge the living or the dead.

Food for thought.

Hubbardston Troop 12. Cedric is third from the right in front.

In other news, Cedric and Seth both had fun at camp. I didn’t write while Seth was gone because I just didn’t feel like. I sometimes think I don’t worry enough but the whole time Seth was gone, I experienced the whole ‘sick with worry’ thing. All about his toe. It was for naught, of course. He came home fine and had a lot of fun and is ready to go back next year for the entire week.

Cedric had fun and I think really got to know some of the boys in the troop. That’s nice. When we went up Wednesday to get Seth and stay for some of the family night activities, Paul was showing up where he stayed with the church troop when he was assistant scout master and telling us which boys were there. At least one of the times Daniel went to camp was at Camp Wanocksett. I think they went to Treasure Valley once as well and I’m not sure where they went the other year. I’m really glad he was able to go to Wanocksett at least once because it, in my mind, at least, creates a link to his brothers.

This week Cedric is at camp with the boys from church. I was just thinking that it’s nice the church has a camp, it is a lot less expensive than Wanocksett ($100 versus over $200). However, Wanocksett is about an hour away from us. Treasure Valley is half an hour away in the other direction. The camp the boys are at (and that Amena was at two weeks ago) is an hour and a half away. Some people who are there this week are travelling from the Springfield area, Pittsfield, and other points west and southwest. They have to travel longer than we do.

Have a wonderful day.