Almost a Week!

Well, the boys are waiting for the bus. The goats want breakfast. It is wet and soggy outside and I don’t want to go out. I guess I have to because the goats can’t exactly get their own grain and take it out and Scooter isn’t any good at it either.

They are fed. Mostly. I’ll take out more hay later. Why wait? Well, I’m not entirely sure due to the fact that it looks like we’re supposed to have rain/snow/wintery mix pretty much all day.

It’s almost hard to believe it’s been almost a week since I have written here. Almost but not quite.

What does Cedric do when he has a pen (or pens), paper, and some spare time?

Sketch.

Tuesday night about 9:00 I realized that Joanna was going to need the car for school and work on Wednesday so I emailed all the doulas that due to transportation issues I wasn’t going to be able to make it in. I did neglect to add Karen to the email. Wednesday morning I called in at 6:00 to let them know the same thing and found out that there was a woman going in for induction. Great. Then I discovered that I could have made the transportation work out so I was getting things collected before I made a phone call and checked my email to see if anyone had responded to my email. No one had but Karen had sent one telling me what I’d already learned about a woman being induced and adding that she wanted a doula and that they’d tried calling me several times and were attempting to get another doula and had I given them the correct number. Well, I was pretty sure that I had given her my cell number and I knew that I’d written it down on the list of doulas in the nurses station in labor and delivery. I called and was informed that they had found another doula and that the number they had called was my cell number. What the heck? I contacted Verizon and changed my phone number and emailed Karen, apologizing for the mess up and giving her my new number.

As the day progressed and I called and messaged and emailed people who needed to know my new number, I became increasingly annoyed because I KNOW that Meredeth and maybe even Karen called my cell phone and obviously were able to get through because they left messages in the past when I was applying for the doula program. Why all of a sudden now are they not able to reach me that way? Very aggravating.

Anyway, that was kind of my whole day Wednesday. Not really, but the whole day did seem to revolve around the phone deal. 

Thursday Julia came over for a soap making class. That was fun. Of course, I think making soap is fun to begin with and Julia is just a hoot so combine the two and you’ve got a groovy thing going on. I also contacted the couple from childbirth ed who were interested in my being their doula and I have more to say about that later.

Friday my visiting teachers were going to come over but something came up and they weren’t able to. I was actually kind of relieved because I had so much to do I wasn’t sure how it was going to all get done. Emily West came over for sewing and that worked because I just told her what to do and she did it while I cooked and cut up chicken.

After the boys were gone on the bus, I took a shower and went to Walmart to get things I needed for the dinner. I wanted to spend no more than $110 and I was successful spending only $100. 35. Then I came home and cooked and cut up chicken.  I made three 2 ½ gallon bags of salad (which isn’t as much as it sounds like because I filled them about 2/3 of the way and then used the bags to ‘toss’ the salad). I made a cocoa cake and two dozen cinnamon rolls for the auction. I painted cars for the boys for the Pinewood Derby which was Saturday morning.

Amena got home from school. The boys got home from school. Cedric and Seth taped up their cars so they could get their other color on them and I sprayed them. Then we got everything together and loaded in the car and we left for church. I put the boys and Amena to work and got to work myself. Help didn’t begin to arrive until about 5:45. I’m not sure when we got there but it was before 5:00. I didn’t realize that the burners on the stove work at about 50% capacity so it took forever to get water boiling for the noodles and the sauce never did get thick for the alfredo. Still, everyone who said anything about it said it was good so in spite of the fact that I should have done things slightly differently, it turned out alright.

And the auction was pretty good. I think we had about 30 items and we made about $500. I guess one pan of cinnamon rolls was the highest earner so I’m happy. The boys weren’t happy that I made a cake and cinnamon rolls that we weren’t going to get to eat ourselves but I think it worked out pretty well.

Pack 12 Cub Scouts

Saturday morning was the Pinewood Derby. I got up at 6:00 to get the cars weighed and wheels on. When that was done I got the boys up and showered. Joseph was mad about his car so he took the wheels off and took it outside and sprayed it with paint. Even one coat of paint changes the weight and I wasn’t about to go through all that again so he didn’t get to race his car. Cedric and Seth did okay. Neither placed but they had fun and Cedric won the ‘Best Block of Wood’ award.

Tiger Scouts. Cute, aren't they? Joseph is on the right.

At this point, I honestly don’t remember what I did Saturday afternoon.

Weblos 1s. Seth, in back on the right, always manages to look so HAPPY in pictures.

Sunday was Sunday. We had a Young Women Board meeting and it was wonderful with all the positions filled. Jerusha Peterman taught the combined Young Women and it was really good talking about the Atonement and how we feel about it. Because most of us are grateful and/or thankful, the rest of the time was spent making Thank-You cards. What an awesome activity!

Weblos 2s. It looks like Cedric (on the left) was thinking about smiling, at least.

We did Family Home Evening almost as soon as we were done eating and then the boys watched Spiderwick. Maybe not the best Sunday movie but it could be worse. Then we did family prayer and scriptures even though it was still pretty early and Paul and the boys watched Simon Birch. There is some language in that I don’t like and I really wish we had a DVD player that bleeped that out. The story itself is good and it’s interesting that Joe’s biological dad in it is the same guy who plays Arthur Spiderwick. Then it was time for bed.

This morning wasn’t too bad. Amena got up and ready. I got her lunch together. She was ready to go and out the door and the bus driver didn’t see her so she had to run to the other end of the driveway and she did get on then. The boys got up and ready and were out in time for the bus. Even a couple of minutes early which is something of a miracle since Seth and Joseph didn’t even want to get up. Seth made an interesting comment. He said, “It’s weird how you don’t want to go to bed at night but in the morning, you don’t want to get out.” That is often very true.

And that’s that.

About the couple in childbirth ed. . . Both of the couples are great. First babies for each and both different but similar. I would have been completely cool with being there for either but only one specifically asked if I could be their doula. Meredeth said under the circumstances, it’s totally fine. They don’t like a doula to make the commitment to be there for someone they meet at Meet the Doula Night but if you’ve developed a relationship during childbirth ed, you’ve actually gotten to know someone a bit and have an idea if you are compatible with them. I agree. Anyway, they were due Wednesday and it was Thursday when I messaged the husband to let them know my new phone number so they’d be able to contact me.

It was after that that I felt for a few hours completely out of control. Thursday afternoon I was busy planning my day Friday and finalizing my shopping list and the recipe and I kept thinking, what if they call? What if they call? I really wondered if it is normal to feel so out of control and was seriously considering if I could live my life like that.

Then I remembered to breathe. And I remembered that life goes on. And I thought, yes, I can do this. I can drop everything and go when I need to. And then I was fine. Honestly, I was hoping to get through Friday and Saturday morning without having to drop and go but if they’d’ve called, I would have dropped. In some ways, I think this has been a transformative experience even though I haven’t yet physically done anything; it’s all been in my head. I have nothing planned for this week that I can’t postpone or reschedule or cancel other than a doula shift Friday morning so we’re all good.

Up for today, unless I get a phone call, is laundry, Emily coming over for sewing, dishes, lotion, and finishing my application to the Utah Midwifery College. Well, and picking Joanna up from school and taking her to work. In any case, a busy day.

I was going to end now but then I remembered something else I wanted to mention. I have to say that I am grateful for my family (friends, too, but especially family right now [keeping in mind that I do have a friend or two that are like family]). Another of my lovely aunties is on Facebook and it was really nice having a little ‘chat’ with her last night. We used to do the same only using instant messaging years ago and it’s a wonderful thing to be able to do it again.

And with that, I hope you have an absolutely spectacular day!

Words

Good morning! I’ve been lax of late, I know. Too lax. In more ways than one.

This round of antibiotics really did a number on my intestines and for some reason I forgot to eat yogurt while I was taking them. Why on earth did I do that? Probably because I wasn’t thinking of food much. Better late than never, I guess. I hope.

This morning I spent some time reading some interesting emails and articles that I found or was given links to. It’s always interesting how you can usually find out what the real deal is by reading the links in the articles (or blogs). It is scary to me how easy it is to twist facts and then put them forth as truth. It really should not be a surprise because I think it is human nature to do this. If it isn’t, then most of the humans I’ve ever known fall into the category that do and those I’ve never met don’t. Personally, I don’t think that is very likely. Statistically it is very improbable. I know I am guilty. In my defense, I do attempt to find out what the truth is before I open my mouth (or let my fingers work the keyboard) but sometimes we can’t find all the information and sometimes we don’t want to. It’s life.

In other statistically improbable news, Dan actually paid me a genuine complement Sunday. He was talking to Seth (and for reasons I do not understand the boys like to have phone conversations with the speaker on) and said, “Do you remember that bed that your mom made in Idaho?” Seth didn’t. I didn’t for a minute or two. “It was pretty nice. I wish I could make one like that. She probably learned how from Grandpa Jim.” Paraphrased a bit but that’s the jist of it. (The spell checker doesn’t like the word ‘jist’. It wants me to change it to one of the following: jest, joist, just, jets, or joust. I added it to the dictionary.) I actually made it while we were in New Mexico but I do remember making it; it was fun and I did a good job. The book I used was a Sunset book and I don’t know what happened to it. Anyway, miracles happen sometimes.

In other news, I went to a Meet the Doula night last night. It was good and I learned why I like to sit on the edge of the chair. I’ve been doing it for forever and now I know why. It’s better for your posture. Cool. All of these soft, gushy, comfortable office chairs—they’re crap. Bad for the posture; bad for humans. Recliners? Get rid of them. No, not really. They are nice upon occasion. But if they are the only chair you ever sit in, you might want to rethink your sitting habits. Mom, I have something for you to do. I might attempt to draw pictures for you but it might have to wait until August. Becky, it would be good for you, too. Awww, heck, it would be good for all of us. I guess I’ll have to find or draw some pictures because it’s really amazing. (It has to do with your upper back. And breathing.)

This from earlier this morning: Joseph is sitting here finishing up homework I didn't realize he had. The directions say: "Draw and write to solve. Explain your reasoning." I think: "Are you kidding me? Isn't it enough that he can look at the problem and almost always figure it out in his head? Why does he have to explain?" The reason why he has to explain is because it is "COMMON CORE STANDARD CC 1.NBT.4 Use place value understanding and properties of operations to add and subtract." I'm pretty sure he's thinking of place values and properties of operations to add and subtract when he's doing it in his head. NOT!

I might not like Minnesota much (nothing personal, you know, it’s just where Daniel was died) but there are good people who live there and they’ve only adopted the ELA standards. Go Minnesota! Nebraska, Texas, Alaska, and Virgina have yet to adopt Common Core. I don’t really want to live in any of those states but I sure support their decision to stay away from Common Core. I sure wish more states had done the same. Speaking of such things, did you know that students today actually perform worse than students did in 1972? That does not make me feel too confident about my education; I started kindergarten in 1973.

Anyway, time is flying by and I do need to get a thing or two done today.

Have a fantastical day!

Balance and Moderation

Good morning! I am pretty sure that I was going to purposefully forget to write anything today. I’ve decided that one reason I don’t write every day is that I am less accountable for what I do. If I say I’m going to do something and don’t do it, I almost feel bad. Granted, some days are just really busy and there is no way that I can accomplish everything I want to (like today—my ‘c’ key keeps hanging up and doesn’t always work which causes me to take longer to accomplish a relatively simple task like typing). Some days, however, I just don’t feel like doing anything. This week has been one of those. Never mind that Joseph and I ended up with strep throat and that I haven’t felt like doing a whole lot. Yesterday I felt fine, other than be somewhat tired, and today I feel the same, including the tired bit. I still managed to get some laundry done yesterday as well as some sweeping and managed to make oven fried chicken for dinner.

Joseph was being a scientist yesterday making medicine.

I also unmolded the last four batches of soap that I made with Julia but only because she came over because we were toying with the idea of going to Auburn to the store that has fabric for $1.99 a yard. (What a stinking deal, that!) Today I really should get cut what I have unmolded. That’s fun, though, and not the chore laundry is. Speaking of that, I have two loads to fold and ought to wash more. How on earth do we get so many towels dirty, anyway?

Reflections in my tea.

Last night I finished watching Breaking Bad Wow. Remind me to tell you who Walter White reminds me of sometime. Crazy. I kind of would like to know what happens to Skylar and the kids. Not enough for them to do another show though.

Here Be Dragons (or so we wish) Bars. 

This morning Joseph went with me to the dentist. That was pretty exciting. I like how they are really good at getting people right in and out. My appointment was at 9:00. We were home by 10:00 and it’s about 30 minutes of driving time (and no getting stuck behind slow vehicles today).  Right now Joseph is drawing Mine Craft people while we wait for some molds to dry out enough to unmold. We are also drinking hot chocolate that I made with coconut milk. I’m really liking that stuff.

While Joseph is drawing and I’m watching my hot chocolate slosh around in the cup while he erases something, I checked my emails, was working on a little blurb for the ward newsletter that needs to be done by this evening, and was perusing Facebook. Someone reposted this thing that was originally posted by rawforbeauty.com, “Why do they call it ‘ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE’ when it is the original medicine that humans have been using for thousands of years? Chemical medications were discovered about 100 years ago!”

That really struck me for some reason and what is the first thing I did? Well, turn to a dictionary, of course. This is what I found:

alternative medicine noun

Definition of ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE: any of various systems of healing or treating disease (as chiropractic, homeopathy, or faith healing) not included in the traditional medical curricula of the United States and Britain

First Known Use of ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE 1977 [I’m guessing this means as a word, term or phrase.]

alternative medicine noun (Medical Dictionary)

Medical Definition of ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE: : any of various systems of healing or treating disease (as homeopathy, chiropractic, naturopathy, Ayurveda, or faith healing) that are not included in the traditional curricula taught in medical schools of the United States and Britain

alternative medicine noun (Concise Encyclopedia)

Any of a broad range of healing approaches not used in conventional Western medicine. Many are holistic (see holistic medicine); many also emphasize prevention and education. Alternative therapies include acupuncture, aromatherapy, Ayurveda medicine, Chinese medicine, chiropractic, herbal medicine, homeopathy, massage, meditation, naturopathy, therapeutic touch, and Yoga. Though considered alternative in the West, such medicine is the main source of health care for up to 80% of people in less-developed countries. Some alternative-medicine practices are useless or harmful; others are effective and may offer treatments in areas where conventional approaches have not succeeded (e.g., chronic disorders).

("Alternative Medicine." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 21 Mar. 2014. <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alternative medicine>.)

Curious, don’t you think? I am pretty sure that there were people living on the American continents long before the advent of so-called Western medicine (maybe I should look that up, as well) and ‘traditional curricula’ of medical schools in the US and Britain. I’m pretty sure, in fact, that there were people living on the British Isles before this as well. You know, like thousands of years before. Dare I even say hundreds of thousands of years? It constantly amazes me that we, as a human race, have managed to survive all these millennia in spite of the fact that it is only recently that we have had all the wonderful things that we do now.

It used to be survival of the fittest. Now it’s survival-of-whoever-the-medical-profession-deems-worthy. You know what I think? I think that when push comes to shove there are going to be a lot of sorry people in the world. Not for long, though. In the end, survival of the fittest will dominate. By this I do not mean that only those who are muscularly fit and can run a marathon. There are diverse aspects to being fit and these different characteristics are threefold: mentally, physically, spiritually. And let’s not forget moderation. You can’t overdo the mentally and expect it to outweigh the other two anymore than you can be physically strong and expect it to. Balance.

I guess I’d better get to work.

Have a great day!

Death and Love

Good morning! Although Amena cut it really close, she did not miss the bus. Cedric got up sometime before 6:00 and Seth was up before 6:30. They are both ready to go. Cedric even just came inside to tell Seth to hurry even though the bus won’t be here for another 20 minutes. Silly child.

Seth is drawing. On the paper he has a list. It looks like this:

Daniel

baby goat

baby goat

Trista

Deby [Debby]

sone [soon]

Princes[s]

I think it is good for children to have chores. I really do like to feed the goats; it keeps me in touch with them, so to speak. However, with not feeling so hot this week, I’ve been having the boys feed and water the goats. This morning Seth came in with an observation for me about Princess. I think she must have arthritis or some joint problem because her front knees are swollen. I told them that it was likely after she kids that we’ll have to put her down. “What does put her down mean?” Cedric asked. I drew a line across my throat with my finger.

“Oh,” Seth said, “you mean kill her.” I nodded.

That led to a discussion of death and birth.

Seth said, “That means we have five.”

“Five?” I asked.

“Buried.” He ticked off names: “Trista, Debby, the baby goat, the other goat, Daniel. . . And soon it will be six.”

I want my children to have a healthy attitude about death. It is very much a part of life; not a subject to ignore or gloss over. Part of the discussion about death with Seth included a quarter. I explained that birth and death are like opposite sides of that coin. Life as we know would not exist without both sides and each is like a door from one plane of existence to another. The only part of the door analogy I don’t like is that most doors allow you to go through from either side and more than once. Although we do hear of near-death experiences, typically we do not get to go through that door multiple times.

Joanna and Zak picked up antibiotics for me and Joseph yesterday and we each had our first doses last night. Joseph feels better. I feel much better. My throat doesn’t hurt as bed and my neck isn’t as sore. Still have swollen glands but they aren’t quite as bad. I didn’t sleep very well last night but that is because it didn’t seem to matter what position I was in, it wasn’t good. If I was on my back, snot and gunk would go down my throat which caused breathing difficulty. If I was on my side, the pillow put too much pressure on my swollen throat which caused breathing difficulty. Just a no-win situation there. If I have to, I guess I’ll take a nap today.

This morning when I came downstairs, Joanna had made bags of Easter candy for each of us. She wrote notes and stuck them in the bags. When I went over to the kitchen, I noticed that the counter was clean. The dishes had been put away and the dish rack washed. Wow. Joanna was busy last night. She can be such a thoughtful child. It’s hard not to love them and forgive any wrongdoing when they do things like that.

Speaking of wrongdoings, I recently was part of a discussion in which was about the axiom ‘love the sinner but not the sin.’ It seemed to be the general consensus that it is hard to do this. I’ve been attempting to figure out why and I have not come up with an answer. It might be because I don’t have a problem with it. In general, I am not a people person and I would live my life as an introverted hermit if I could. However, this is not possible. I do do better with small groups of people as opposed to large groups. In large groups I just clam up and if I can’t find one or two people I am comfortable with, I will keep to myself, usually at the margin. In small groups, I’m better. In spite of the fact that I don’t like large groups of people and in spite of the fact that my opinions lead me to criticize some groups and even some individuals, I still understand that we are products of many things including our families, our education, our environment. We are influenced by people, situations, books, media, etc. It is not my job to judge (even though I know I sometimes do), and even if/when I say something that seems very judgmental, if I look at what I appear to be judging, it is often the actions, not the person.

I hope that didn’t come across wrong. I am very opinionated. I know what I believe. I don’t like people as a whole. I don’t think anyone on this earth is perfect (although there might be one or two close). We all have opinions. We all have different beliefs and feelings. Not everyone is going to like everyone else. We all have sins and imperfections (and boy, I must be at the top of the list). But that does not mean that I cannot love individuals.

Have a spectacular day!

Cold Cold

Good morning! It’s a lovely sunny day outside with birds singing and flitting about. However, it is also a very cool day coming in currently at 12° that feels like 4°. Spring is supposed to start when?

Joseph and I went to the doctor yesterday. Joseph has a cold and I have a cold. If this is a cold, it is either unlike any cold I’ve ever had or I’ve never had a cold before. I vacillate between which I think it is. Bot of our rapid strep tests came out negative but she did regular swabs to send to the lab to be sure (which is normal protocol for negative results). We should see tomorrow afternoon if either of us have more than just a cold. I would suspect Joseph does just have a cold but I don’t like to mess with the possibility of strep—one of the problems with having taken A&P.

Other than that, we had a very low key day. I watched lots of Breaking Bad and did some knitting because I actually felt like doing something and Joseph watched some movies because that’s one of ways to get him to rest. Joseph had some tea and I had a lot of tea.

Amena went with us when we went to the doctor because I told her I’d get her some new underwear after school.

For dinner we had hotdogs and sauerkraut and broccoli. I skipped the hotdogs and sauerkraut and just had broccoli. And some miso soup that Zak and Joanna brought home and never ate. Or drank.

Pretty low key. Today I expect to be similar to yesterday. I fed the goats grain and watered them. I need to take them hay but because of the temperature, I’m not excited about going out. That and once I get cold, it seems to take a while to get warm again. Last night I was nice and toasty in bed and woke up all sweaty.

Cedric wanted me to take him to school early today. He said that his teacher has said that she’s usually there by 7:30 and that if anyone needs to come in then to do some work or whatever, that’s fine. He had a project due yesterday that he told me was due Friday and he forgot a paper that had information on it that he needed for his poster. I would have taken him but for one thing, I still don’t feel wonderful and going out in the cold really doesn’t help and for another thing, he was not being nice to Seth and I need to see better behavior before I give out rewards. (Why do they, especially Cedric, want the reward first: “I’ll be good if you give me that.” My response is, “I’ll give you that if you are good.”)

I really need our microscope. I wish I knew where it was. We left it in Idaho and I’m not sure my mother has it. I would so love to look up some of the stuff that’s coming out of my nose under a microscope. Some of it is quite interesting looking.

This is part of Cedric's poster that he was working on.

Since I can’t do that, I guess I’ll settle for a third cup of tea shortly. Paul just finished making his breakfast of a ham steak with potatoes and eggs fried in a copious amount of olive oil and the fumes/particles floating in the air are making me cough. He also boiled some water so I got to pour it in my cup as soon as I had the bag in it. Too bad the tea isn’t ready as soon as the water is poured.

Anyway, have a great day!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

Good morning and Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! So far, it’s been a tiring day.

Thursday I made more soap. That’s always fun (unless I happened to make it on a day like today—on a day like today, nothing would be fun). It was snowing and Margaret and Julia were both going to come over. Because it was snowing, Sariah didn’t want to take Amelia to where she needed to be at 11:00 and Margaret said that if she came over here but didn’t take Amelia to her thing, Amelia most likely would not be pleased so because of that and the fact she really didn’t want to drive in the snow, she didn’t come. Julia did.

Cedric's soap shark head.

Julia said that she’s decided she really doesn’t like knitting because there aren’t enough gadgets and she really doesn’t like knitted things enough to do it. She thinks she would like spinning or weaving because there are gadgets. She definitely likes making soap because there are gadgets. It was fun. I started at nine as planned by cutting the soap I’d made Tuesday and then washed the molds. That was actually fun and because it gave me something to do to replace lining molds, it fixed my groove.

Joseph's soap train.

Friday was a busy day. I got up at 5:00 as usual to wake Amena up only to discover she wasn’t in her bed. She was, however, in the living room asleep on a couch. She’d been using my old phone and the alarm on it was going off but not doing its job of waking her. I thought I woke her up because she responded to my questions and statements so I went back to bed. At 6:00 it was just too much to get out of bed and I ended up not getting up until 6:15. Amena wasn’t in the bathroom, she wasn’t in her bedroom. She was in the living room; still on the couch. Needless to say, she missed the bus in a rather spectacular fashion. I wasn’t going to hurry hurry to catch up with the bus because she wasn’t even close to ready to go.

Seth's soap boat.

I got the boys lunches and made sure they were getting ready and got myself as ready as I could. Of course, by then Paul was in the shower so I had to wait for him. He was planning on taking the green car in for an inspection and said that he could take Amena to school. I agreed but then decided I’d just take her because he would have taken Amena with him for the inspection which would have made her probably almost another hour late. As it was, she got to school about 8:30.

From there I left to go to the Verizon store to get my tablet activated. I debated on whether I should go to the chiropractor first and be really early or just take my chances going to Verizon first. I actually called the chiropractor and got no answer so I decided to take my chances. I did have to wait at Verizon but not too long and I was actually out of there by 10:05. I was only three minutes late for my chiropractic appointment and I ended up having to wait longer than I ever have.

After that, I was off to Julia’s so that I could help finish the auction paddles. Diana Chunn came as well and we finished up in a couple of hours. That was fun.

I honestly don’t remember much of what happened after I got home from Julia’s. Amena got home. The boys got home. As soon as Joseph walked in the door he said, “Why didn’t you pick me up? You were supposed to pick me up.” I didn’t remember anything about needing to pick him up and he informed me that the school nurse had called because he had a fever. There is a new school nurse and I guess she must have tried calling the house number because I never got any calls on my cell phone.

Paul and I went out to the Indian restaurant and Joanna and Zak took Amena, Seth and Joseph to Five Guys. Cedric was at a sleepover birthday party and got to go to the theater for a movie.

Saturday morning I called the hospital to see if anyone was in labor and there was someone in but it hadn’t been determined if her water had actually broken. I called back half an hour later and it looked like she’d probably be staying so I went in once I finished feeding the goats and getting ready. It was awesome. I wish all laboring mama’s had the ability to trust their bodies and the doula.

Saturday afternoon I began feeling kind of icky but thought I was just tired. I went to bed and felt even ickier in the morning but needed to go to a meeting at church and teach a lesson so I got up and did everything that needed to be done and went. Church was actually pretty good other than the fact that I couldn’t sit still because my legs and back were so achy. After church, I got lunch ready and once it was over and mostly cleaned up, I went to bed for a nap. I’m not sure how long I actually slept because it took forever to even get warm but I did sleep. I got up in time for family prayer and scriptures and was all too happy to send everyone to bed so that I could go back myself. I did drink two cups of tea and doused my neck with oregano oil and my pillow with peppermint oil. Other than the fact that I had to get up three times between 9:00 and 11:00 to pee (I’m thinking due to the two large cups of tea), I slept well.

This morning I didn’t really want to get up but did because I didn’t want to deal with anyone missing the bus. I checked my throat and discovered the lovely white spots I haven’t had for about three years. I thought I should check Joseph’s throat as well. He doesn’t have any spots that I can see but it is red and irritated and because he’d been not feeling well, I kept him home this morning. The doctor’s office opens at 8:00 but they don’t always take over the phone from the calling service right away so I’m waiting another minute or so before I call to see if we can get in.

And that gets you caught up in our lives. Sort of.

And I just called the doctor and got the answering service. I guess I’ll wait until 8:10.

Have a terrific day!

Green Soapy Day

Good morning! It is a rather dreary-looking day out thus far and we are supposed to get rain at some point during the day. We shall see what happens; I don’t hold my breath for anything—especially something as fickle as the weather.

Yesterday was quite the day. It started with a little laundry and little dishes and then moved on to making soap. I have to say that while I like not having to take the extra time to line molds, yesterday being the first day I didn’t have to, it really threw off my groove. What I’ve always done is get the molds out, get out the paper, a pencil, quilting ruler, long bladed knife, and masking tape. Then I measure the paper, fold it, cut it with the knife, cut some of the sheets of paper in half, tape a whole piece to a half piece, fold, measure, fold some more, fold and tape an end, measure for the other end, fold and tape that end, put the paper trough I’ve created in the mold, cut the corners about half an inch so they’ll fold down and then tape the ends and edges to the mold. That’s for a single batch. For double batches, I use two whole sheets and one half and do everything else the same. Generally, this whole process takes 20 to 30 minutes, depending on how many batches of soap I am making. Yesterday, all I had to do is take the molds out of a box and we were ready to go. It was strange. Very strange.

I thought I would have time to do some knitting while waiting for oils and lye solutions to reach the same magic temperature but other than the first time, there wasn’t much of a wait, and the first time there were people in the dining room/kitchen and that further threw off my groove. So, while I did watch some episodes of Breaking Bad while I was soaping, I did not get any knitting done. By the time I had some time to actually get some done, I just didn’t feel like it. It was awful.

When I was done with soap stuff, I cleaned up the mess and put everything away and it was during that process that the boys got home. I helped Seth a little with homework. He had two math problems to do. He also had a writing project to finish and I don’t think that happened. He also had a reading log and I know that didn’t get done. There is only so much time in a day.

Then it was time to get dinner going. We had creamy broccoli soup and green ketchup cake (or is that catchup cake?). I know it isn’t quite St. Patrick’s Day and we passed Dr. Seuss’s birthday but I guess I was in a green mood. The soup was good; the cake was okay. The cake is something like red velvet cake which I don’t care for although I do like cream cheese frosting.

At the end of eating, I was talking with the elders about when and where we would be meeting this evening and Paul said, “You won’t have a car.” I know he’d told me that he had an appointment to get the catalytic converter replaced on the green car but I guess I figured it would be done in time to get to church. I kind of need to be to church tonight—we have a boatload of things to accomplish. I was not terribly pleased and I’m sure it must have been obvious.

Up for today is more soaping. If the soap in the molds is ready to come out, it will come out and I’ll make more. If it is not ready to come out, I’ll just leave it on the table to look pretty and smell good until tomorrow or later in the day. If it is ready to come out, I’ve already decided what to make today. If it isn’t ready, I’ll already have decided what to make tomorrow.

Currently the boys have been gone for a few minutes and Amena has been for an hour and a bit more than 40 minutes. Paul is upstairs most likely reading. 

Joanna is most likely going to miss at least her first class because she’s still in bed. I am sitting here typing away contemplating allergies and other reasons people cough.

Have a terrific day!

Suds and Threads

Good morning! It is a partly cloudy day out this morning and the sun is showing behind some of them behind some clouds to the east. I know, where else would the sun be making its presence known in the morning, right? The bus just stopped for the boys who were all out waiting for it. Mr. Hale must like it when the students at each stop are ready to go when he gets there rather than having to wait. Amena got up and ready in spite of the fact that I didn’t get up until 5:17 and neither did she.

Currently, I know that Joanna and Zak are alive because they were out and about. Now they’re hiding in the back room. Paul is up and about as well; I can hear him moving around upstairs and the water in the bathroom just turned on. Seth watered the goats this morning and Cedric fed them. I’ll get their hay when I’m done here. I really like the whole divide and conquer idea.

Since I accomplished what I wanted to yesterday in the laundry, dishes, and counter clearing off departments, up for today is more laundry (but not very much), what dishes are used during the day (they’re all done right now except two bowls and two spoons that Joanna and Zak used last night for ice-cream), and SOAP. Beautiful, lovely, soap. I do have a bit of prep work before I get to that (deciding which to make, deciding how many to make [I only want to use my  new molds and I think I got four so that’s how many it will have to be but I have to check to be sure], making sure the camera is charged. Depending upon which I decide to make, I might have to make a trip to Gardner to get some dry ingredients like lavender flowers. Or, since Joanna doesn’t work today or have school, I could send her. I also need to deposit the phone bill money she gave me and pay the phone bill.

Yesterday was a day. I always like to get the counter cleared off in the kitchen and I always wonder how it is it gets so cluttered so quickly. I haven’t figured that out yet so don’t be expecting any great disclosers.

I looked at knitting books a lot yesterday when I wasn’t doing other things (which means I really didn’t spend all that much time looking) and decided to make a pair of socks. I was going to make a pair anyway and had decided on a design and pattern. While looking at books, I decided to change the plan and so took out what I had done and started over. Knitting while helping boys with homework works pretty well. I started but didn’t use the reinforcing yarn from the start (the pattern I’m using looks better if knit from the toe up I guess so I’m doing a toe up sock for the first time). I decided after starting the reinforcing yarn on just the bottom to go all the way around for the toe but since I didn’t start out with it, I then decided to start over, using it from the very beginning. I’d just gotten that started last night when I went to bed and then decided to start it out a bit differently again so hopefully the third time will be the charm. I’m also thinking about using double point needles because the tips of one of my circulars are coming off and I don’t want to lose anything. I should have gotten a couple of extra needles when my mother was here and we went to Webs. Anyway, knitting ought to be a good occupation when I’m waiting for oils and lye solutions to reach the same magical temperature. As long as I don’t overdo it.

Yesterday I also made bread. We have quite a few loaves in the freezer but they are all from the store and I don’t like bread from the store. I actually don’t eat much bread at all and if it’s from the store, the only way I’ll eat it is as French toast or in a grilled cheese sandwich. I prefer homemade bread even for grilled cheese sandwiches and could live without French toast. Anyway, Amena likes homemade and it’s not hard to make.

Have a spectacular day!

Cake

Good morning! The time changed and we made it to church on time but it sure was hard getting up this morning. The goats are fed and fed up with the snow; they would like to go out in the back field and eat some nice fresh grass. We awoke to new snow this morning. It isn’t much; just enough to cover up all the ugly. It is this part of winter that I do not like—when the snow is dirty and looks tired. Except in the mountains of which there aren’t any real ones around here.

I don’t really have any great or spectacular things to talk about today. I would love to go back to bed but that never really works for me so I won’t bother. I have a boatload of laundry to wash but I’m thinking about just taking care of what’s on the couch and stuffing all the dirty stuff into the hamper and a basket. There are some dishes that need to be washed. This will be accomplished in the process of cleaning the kitchen because I need to make soap this week.

Frosting in the bowl. I just like the pattern the blender makes.

The table is covered with yarn and knitting books. I sometimes wish that my twerpy youngest sister knew how to talk or write letters or even email because I’m sure that the three of us could have some rousing conversations about knitting. That’s kind of a whole other barrel of fish though so I won’t be going there today. I did find the book that my mother has been missing. It’s called A Gathering of Lace and it has some rather spectacular patterns in it. I’ve had it for so long (it was with our stuff when we came to Massachusetts) and looked at it so many times that every time I open it, it is like visiting with an old friend. I am very sad to have to send it back to her but happy that someday it will be mine.

Putting candles on the cake.

Last week my website finally went live. That’s actually kind of exciting and one of the reasons I need to get going with some soapmaking. I actually have an order for 30 baby bars for a bridal shower in June. I just love making soap. It’s kind of like knitting and midwifery and my family.

Celebrating seventeen years since Daniel was born.

Speaking of midwifery, I’ve been working on my application to the Utah College of Midwifery. They have a similar program to Birthwise but all of the course work is online and I would work with a local midwife as a preceptor. I really would love to do Birthwise but am not sure how I could manage to be gone for a week or two every six weeks during a semester. Anyway, any prayers or warm fuzzy thoughts you want to send would be greatly appreciated. Cedric wants me to be a midwife as soon as possible. I’m not sure he quite understands what it would mean for me to be one but still, I think it’s kind of cool that I have complete support from my 12-year-old son.

With that, I will bid you good day. Have a wonderful one!

Names

Good morning! Pardon my lack of posting lately; I’ve not really been in much a writing mood as of late and nothing out of the ordinary has been happening. Today, however, I feel a bit of a rant coming on.

As the boys and I were eating breakfast, I was looking up the meanings of their names online. It can be an entertaining endeavor and did not disappoint this morning. However, with the three boys, there are only six names to look up so I decided to look up Amena. My favorite name website, Behind the Name, has no record of Amena; some similar names, but not specifically ‘Amena’. Hmmmmmmm. I wonder why. So I did a google search. Well, there are lots of Amena’s. However, the first five sites I visited list Amena as an Arabic name meaning ‘honest woman.’ Ah, no. I do realize there is an Arabic name, Amina, and the meaning appears to be ‘honest woman’ but that’s not Amena’s name (interesting to note that it is the name of one of the doctors who worked on her in Sioux Falls). The sixth website I visited listed Amena as Celtic meaning ‘honest woman.’ Well, we’re close with the Celtic but not the meaning. What’s the deal? The next one says Celtic meaning ‘honest, utterly pure.’ Really? Where do they come up with this stuff? The next three all list it as an Arabic name.

The book I found Amena in said that it is Celtic meaning ‘heather on the hills.’ I really wish I wrote down at least the name of the book.

I just want to be clear that I don’t have a problem with there being a name similar to Amena’s that is Arabic and means ‘honest woman.’ There are a lot of cool Arabic names and the fact that there are so many that are similar to other cultural groups indicates to me that we are all interrelated and that the world really is a small place.

However, just last year, even, I could look Amena up and find at least half of the websites listing it as a Celtic name. I think the reason that this bothers me is that so many of us are turning our backs on our own cultural heritage. 

Alone

Good morning.

Yesterday had the potential to be a very hard day. It was not. Emily West came over in the morning to sew and got two seams done. That was good. Joanna and Zak were here and that was good. Then Amena came home and then the boys came home and that was good. And then it was time for me to go to class and that was good.

After class, I was talking to Meredeth and that was good. I am so glad I was able to meet her. We talked about doula work and midwifery and life and Daniel. And that was good.

On a little aside, I was looking for pictures Monday, one in particular, and ended up going through all the pictures I have. I ran across some pictures of my dad and was overwhelmed anew by the sense of loss from his death. He died relatively young, he was only 51, but he was still my dad and older than me and I guess we kind of all expect our parents to die before we do. He’s been gone from this life for 24 years. I think what really hit me is that I’ve become accustomed to his not being here. To me, one of the hardest things about death is knowing that there is no direct line of communication; that as hard as it is to imagine life without the person who is now gone, you won’t be imagining it—you’ll be living it and you are going to find out, like it or not. I decided looking at the pictures that I don’t want to be accustomed to my family being gone; I don’t want to get used them not being here. I want to cry when I think about them because I miss them because I love them and because I can hardly wait to see them again.

This is the picture I was looking for: Daniel emptying the toy box on October 28, 1997 (Laura's birthday, by the way).

Don’t ask me how I got from that line of thinking to the next, but I did. I was eating a cupcake (I made some yesterday afternoon and took seven to class which left seventeen at home for everyone after dinner [which I thought was cool since Daniel would have been seventeen yesterday]), leaning on the fireplace because it’s warm and thinking about public school. “Is it good for man to be alone?” came to mind and in spite of the fact that I didn’t want to spend the day in front of my computer, I sat down and looked that up in the scriptures. Genesis 2:18 reads: “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Italics in the original, bold added by me.) So, it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone so Eve was created. I am guessing that it is not good for woman to be alone any more than it is for man and that the man here also indicates mankind, not just men.

Fast forward a few years from the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve have had a few children (maybe kids too, who knows?). Are they ever alone? Probably not very often. I’m not saying that they spent every waking moment together because that doesn’t seem all that likely, but as children were added to the family and grew up, they would have been with their parents learning how to do what needed to be done.

Fast forward a few years to, say, Abraham’s time. Was he ever alone? Were people in general ever alone? Some families lived in tents. The whole bloomin’ family in one bloody tent. That doesn’t seem to allow for much solitary time. Life seems to have been much more communal then; everyone had to do their part for the common good.

Fast forward a few years to, say life in medieval times. In general, unless you were nobility, you lived with your family. If you were born into a farming family, that is what you learned; if you were born to a miller, that is what you learned; if you were born to a butcher, that is what you learned; etc., etc., etc. You never really got to spend much time alone and the time that you were with others was typically with your family.

Fast forward a few years to today. Life looks a lot different now. It may be true that we don’t spend much time alone but how much do we spend with our families? I submit to you that we do not spend nearly enough time with our families. Not nearly enough. Paul isn’t alone; there are people there where he works. Joanna isn’t alone; she’s at school or at work or with Zak. Amena, Cedric, Seth, and Joseph aren’t alone; they’re at school. Laura isn’t alone; she’s at work and has roommates. I am alone. None of this is good. I understand that society has changed but all change is not good.

When did public school come to be the norm? Free (think publicly funded), government-supported schools were instituted after the revolution. I really wish we had more bookshelves because I would love to pull out some of my books that have some supporting information for some of my opinions but we don’t currently and I really don’t want to make statements without having that backing.

Whatever I may say or think or feel or believe, public school is not what it once was. That could be a good thing but I think that it is not. Furthermore, our government is entirely too involved with the education of our children. And when we have idiots like Dr. Melissa Harris-Perry (I dare say she’s an idiot when she appears to have a degree that I do not? Yes. I do. I gave birth to these younglings; it is my life that was at stake. It was no community giving birth with me in any of those birthing rooms. It was not a community event and my children are mine.) saying things like: “We have to break through our private idea that kids belong to their parents or kids belong to their families, and recognize that kids belong to whole communities  (Jacobson, William A. "MSNBC — All Your Children Are Belong to Us." Le·gal In·sur·rec·tion. N.p., 6 Apr. 2013. Web. 05 Mar. 2014.),” we have some problems.

I would like to tell you about 1^st Grade in McCloud Elementary School. It was the school year 1974-75 and the teacher was Mrs. Holmquist. There was a lot of cutting out and writing letters and coloring and working in workbooks.

There was this elusive thing called ‘reading’ that I knew I needed to learn but it was out of grasp. I knew that if I could finish the workbook I was in, I would be able to move on to the coveted purple workbook; Becky and Marci were already in it and I so wanted to be as well. I don’t remember the day it was but I do remember how it happened. It was like a lightswitch was flipped in my mind and all of a sudden I recognized that all these letters that I knew formed abstract WORDS (I did recognize that some letters grouped together formed words—we made trains in kindergarten and each car was a different color and on each was the word for the color—I distinctively recall ‘purple’ and knew that the word meant the color but until that day in 1^st grade, nothing else made sense)! Oh my goodness! I could read! Suddenly it all made sense! Wow! It was like a new world.

Quite frankly I do not remember if it was in the fall or spring but I suspect it was in the spring. This means that I was likely seven-years-old when I learned to read. Seven. I wasn’t five. I was seven. And now I read because I love to read. I love words. I love the meanings of words. I love syntax. I love sentences. I love books.  And I didn’t even learn to read until I was seven.

My youngest sister, on the other hand, figured it all out before she even went to kindergarten at the tender age of four. She had already learned to read, without any coaching from our mother. She had already read at least some of the Little House books. When the kindergarten teacher doubted that she really understood what she was reading, my mother told her to ask Marie about the books. When the teacher did, she knew that Marie was not only reading, but comprehending and remembering. Darn little twerpy sister! Actually, I think I may have had something to do with her learning to read that early if only by being an example. By the time she was four, I was ten and had been reading voraciously since I learned how when she was just a few months old.

My point is only that children, if they are given the right encouragement and environment, will learn to read when they are ready. My sister would not have learned to read when she was four if we hadn’t had books in the house and visited the library regularly. I might not have even wanted to read if I hadn’t witnessed my parents reading and sat on Papa’s lap while he read the paper.

My point is that forcing children to learn to read before they are ready is not good for them and I do not believe that the public school system is serving our children, and therefore our society, well. Think about the Common Core Standards we hear about now. They make me cringe. Seriously. Literally. (Yes, I do mean literally.)

The Common Core Mission Statement reads: “The Common Core State Standards provide a consistent, clear understanding of what students are expected to learn, so teachers and parents know what they need to do to help them. The standards are designed to be robust and relevant to the real world, reflecting the knowledge and skills that our young people need for success in college and careers. With American students fully prepared for the future, our communities will be best positioned to compete successfully in the global economy  ("Mission Statement." Common Core State Standards Initiative. N.p., n.d. Web. 05 Mar. 2014.).”

Really? Wow.

“Students develop strategies for adding and subtracting whole numbers based on their prior work with small numbers. They use a variety of models, including discrete objects and length-based models (e.g., cubes connected to form lengths), to model add-to, take-from, put-together, take-apart, and compare situations to develop meaning for the operations of addition and subtraction, and to develop strategies to solve arithmetic problems with these operations. Students understand connections between counting and addition and subtraction (e.g., adding two is the same as counting on two). They use properties of addition to add whole numbers and to create and use increasingly sophisticated strategies based on these properties (e.g., “making tens”) to solve addition and subtraction problems within 20. By comparing a variety of solution strategies, children build their understanding of the relationship between addition and subtraction.”

That’s for grade 1 in mathematics. “Develop strategies” is a farce. They don’t develop strategies. They are given strategies. I could really be grasping at straws here but when I read this I thought, ‘Wow, it seems like they might need some logic here.” And when do we fully develop logically (if ever)? In our early 20’s? Are you kidding me? (I swear, I am so tempted to use swears I sometimes gag.) So, on these little six- and seven-year-old children, who are so cute and eager and still willing to please, we are foisting the strategies of man and expecting them to use them in a logical manner. Yeah. Seems perfectly logical. NOT!!!

I’m afraid to look at grade 4 but here I go.

I knew I didn’t want to do that. It’s mind boggling. Truly. “They apply their understanding of models for multiplication (equal-sized groups, arrays, area models), place value, and properties of operations, in particular the distributive property, as they develop, discuss, and use efficient, accurate, and generalizable methods to compute products of multi-digit whole numbers. Depending on the numbers and the context, they select and accurately apply appropriate methods to estimate or mentally calculate products. They develop fluency with efficient procedures for multiplying whole numbers; understand and explain why the procedures work based on place value and properties of operations; and use them to solve problems.” That’s just a taste of the first part of the introduction.

Yeah. I don’t know what to say.

In all seriousness, I really think Common Core should be done away with. All children are different and learn in different ways and at different times. Rather than forcing a child to learn different strategies (which is what I have been watching with my boys) it seems to me that it would be more beneficial if students were shown one way of accomplishing a task. If that method doesn’t work for all, that’s okay. For them, show them another way. And another if need be. And if nothing works, wait a while. It might make sense next week, next month or even next year.

My youngest sister and I learned to read when we were ready at different ages. (Hey, Becky, when did you learn?) In the system today, I would have been labeled and would likely have ended up with an IEP and everyone would have been concerned about getting me ‘up to speed.’ Heaven forbid.

Ultimately, it’s all about shapes and sizes. Public education is very one-size-fits-all. My square, triangle and rectangle children are not going to fit through the round holes. Stop trying to make them.

Let’s back track a bit. Remember when I was talking about Adam? And how it isn’t good for man (or woman) to be alone? Well, in spite of the fact that Cedric, Seth, and Joseph are not physically alone right now, in a very real sense they actually are. They are alone in a system that is designed to make them conform. Is that really what we want? Is that really what we need?

Have a terrific day!