Black Pots and Reflections

Good morning! It’s been a fairly quiet day around her thus far. Relatively speaking, of course.

Joanna had to be to work at 7:00 this morning which meant leaving at 6:45. Thankfully, Zak came over last night so he was able to drop her off at work on his way home.

Turkeys behind the house. There were at least 25 of them.

I woke up about 6:00 smelling something dreadful. I knew it couldn’t be the fire because it was out. I didn’t think a child would be making anything smell as awful as what I was smelling. Sooooo, I hauled myself out of bed to go check and it was nothing more than the pot with our turkey carcass on the stove that had boiled away all the water. Yuck.

I still haven’t checked the pot to see if it is ruined. I hope that it isn’t because it’s my Pampered Chef 8-quart pot and I love it. If it is, I guess I’ll be saving my pennies to get a new one and hope that they are still as good as when I got them.

Kitty was attempting to herd them.

Paul and I went to Salvation Army before lunch with Seth and Joseph because they both were in need of some pants. That’s always a fun adventure. I also needed a jacket and am always on the look-out for turtle necks. Well, we met with success on all counts and then some. Seth found three pair of pants and Joseph three as well. Joseph found two others but one was too large and the other, upon closer examination, had holes in the knees. I don’t buy a pair of pants for two or three dollars just so I can take it home and fix it. Seth found a sweatshirt and really nice pair of shoes (if they were my size, I would have got them for myself) and a shirt. I think he got an army hat as well. I guess it’s an army hat—it’s khaki and square. I found two turtle-necks (actually, they’re mocks) and a jacket. I think it’s Columbia and it’s black and grey and you can’t go wrong with Columbia in black and grey. I also found a wool coat that goes down almost to my ankles. It is really cool. Really cool. We also got some things for Christmas.

Kitty Claws.

After lunch, I was washing dishes listening to the boys and Amena play with Legos and thinking. I know, it’s a bad habit, that thinking. I was thinking about how we tend to be negative and tend to only think of or remember the things we didn’t do. You may recall from yesterday that I regret not playing chess with Daniel. While that is true, and while I have many regrets, there are a lot of things that I did do.

Playing with Legos.

When Daniel was building with Legos, I did take the time to find the pieces he was looking for. Often there would be a sibling or two or three or so playing with Legos also but sometimes it was just Daniel and we would have some quiet small talk—usually about Legos.

I did ask Daniel almost every day after school how school was. His answer was invariably, “Boring.” But that’s okay. I asked. He answered. It was our ritual; he knew I would ask, I knew what he would answer.

I did, and still do, love Daniel. That love is different now from the love I feel for his siblings because it is has been through the refiner’s fire of grief and pain and sorrow. But it is still there and always will be.

It is so easy to focus on all the things that I wish I had done or thing things I wish I hadn’t done and the things I should have done better and some things that I should not have done. So easy. But not important. The important thing is to focus on the good and what was and is right and to keep going. 

Happy Thanksgiving! (with some stoplights and birth thrown in)

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Cedric is teaching me how to play chess. It is one of those bitter sweet things because Daniel learned a few years ago and he wanted to play and would play anyone who was willing. Somehow I never managed to have time. Now I wish had had because it isn’t as hard as I’d always imagined it would be. Cedric is somewhat impatient, though, and thinks I take too long. The problem is, when Cedric moves and I say, “So, my horse can kill your Queen?” he says, “No, wait, I didn’t think.” Anyway, it’s kind of fun.

Yesterday after some general cleaning I let some children watch a movie. While they were watching, I did a lot of prep work so that after I did a goat exchange I could get to cooking/baking. The goat exchange happened without incident so Goldilocks is now home and Princess is gone. Pretty exciting.

I made  pumpkin pie

                pecan pie

                apple pie

                chocolate pie

                shoo fly pie

                sausage stuffing (ready to go in the oven)

                broccoli casserole

                cranberry sauce

                cranberry salad

                bread (because I needed some in order to make the stuffing)

I mixed rolls up so they are ready to go as soon as I get them out and get them going which needs to be soon. The turkey is in the oven.  That just leaves mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes and gravy and they won’t take long once we get to them.

Anyway, the whole day was in the kitchen pretty much and I’m glad that today won’t be.

We just got a stop light by Walmart. Normally, I wouldn’t care. However, this stoplight is not that far from where I live (only 3.5 miles [2.27 as the crow flies] via road) and it has a direct effect on my life as there are times when I need or want to go somewhere and when I get to the end of Pitcherville Road (which is only 2.5 miles from the stoplight because the end of Pitcherville is one mile from our house), I sometimes have to wait for ten or twelve cars to go by before I can get out. That wastes time and we all know that time is money so it costs me money every time I am sitting there waiting. I don’t like it; it disrupts the normal ebb and flow of traffic. As I was thinking about this and how it just messes everything up (and we won’t even get into the two over by Price Chopper—mostly because they are easy enough to avoid and I don’t live in Gardner so they don’t have the same effect on my life), I thought that traffic lights are like interventions in birth.

If you have the pleasure of living somewhere where there are no stoplights, traffic just flows along. There are times when things tend to get a bit congested but eventually it clears out. Granted, lack of stoplights often means that the population isn’t as great as places that have them but quite frankly, I think urban areas are somewhat akin to a freak of nature except that they aren’t very natural.

Stop signs are introduced at intersections and generally speaking, they do add some order to the tide of traffic but only when drivers are aware of and follow the rules of the road. As the population increases, so does the number of stop signs. Stop lights are introduced at particularly dangerous intersections and as the population experiences even greater increases. While it is true that they lend some order to traffic flow, when there is too much traffic, nothing is really going to help.

Birth is a normal process. Women have been giving birth since time immemorial. For eons, women were attended by other women as they gave birth or were alone.

 Fast forward to the last 300 years when men entered the birth chamber. All of a sudden, we have stop signs. Skreeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! What the heck! Now women are told they aren’t doing it right. Never mind that the human race has managed to thrive thus far, suddenly we’re about to die out if we don’t do it the way MEN tell us to? Are you kidding me?!?!

Fast forward again, to present day when we have not only stop signs but stoplights. Now not only do women (at least in the United States) not know how to give birth (but other women in other countries do? How stupid are, we people?) but the whole process has to be micromanaged by professionals. And the whole question of professional is questionable. I mean, how does a plumber learn? By doing. How does an electrician learn? By doing. How does a mechanic learn? By doing. How does a doctor learn? By going to school? Are you serious? How the heck does a male doctor know more about birth than I do? Just because he’s gone to school? He may know more about the science of birth, be he does not know more about the experience of birth. There is no way he can because there is no way he can.

Just as traffic flows along rather nicely without aid in rural areas, so does labor progress when there are no interventions. Add the stop signs and suddenly there are rules that must be followed. They might be fairly minimal, but they are present and they do disrupt the flow, even if only slightly. Add the stop lights and suddenly the whole flow is disrupted. Now there is nothing smooth about the flow, it is disjointed and congested. Why would anyone want that?

By the way, I know that is a loaded question. People I know say, “I love Boston!” It can be New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Chicago, Atlanta, whatever, any city. That’s great. You can love a city if you want to. You can love birth with interventions if you want to. Everyone is different and I get that. The world would be a boring place if we were all the same. What I don’t get is why we are so complacent about blindly accepting interventions when we do not know the full extent of the consequences of using them. If the child of a mother who uses narcotics during the birth process is more likely to develop dependency on narcotics later in life, might that mother think twice before accepting them? If all the ultrasounds we are subjecting our babies to end up being responsible for the drastic increase in autism, might women think twice about using them? The kicker is, we just don’t know the full effect of these things that we do. It’s kind of like living in a city. It’s just living, right? Granted, there are more people, there is more traffic, there is more pollution. So we go out and exercise so we can be healthy because we’re not getting out and milking the goats and working in the garden and splitting and stacking wood and all the other things that people might do if they live in more rural areas. And what do we do for exercise? We go walking or running or we ride or bicycles. That’s great! Really, I mean it. I do all of those things and always feel better when I do. But in the city there’s that stuff in the air—you know what I’m talking about—pollution. It’s that stuff that comes from cars, from factories, from your furnace. It’s that nasty stuff in the air; the air that we breathe. The air that we breathe in copiously when we are exercising; the more vigorous the exercise, the more we breathe in. Hmmmm.

Did you know that the lungs of a city dweller who does not smoke look like the lungs of a smoker? Hmmm. That’s great. So, go ahead; love your city. Go ahead; love interventions during birth. Your choices are yours. Just as mine are mine. The problem really is that we aren’t the only ones who have to live with the consequences of them.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everyone!

This and That (including Pit)

Good morning! It is dark and cold out. How dark? Dark enough that I can’t see a whole lot from inside. Not so dark that if I were to go out, I wouldn’t be able to see well enough to get around. How cold? Not as cold as it has been. Try 26°, feels like 15°. I can handle that; much better than yesterday’s feeling like 0 (as in degrees, not nothing).

Amena just got on the bus and it is time for me to go wake up boys. Such fun the mornings are when there is school. Some days I really wish that we did homeschool because I would let everyone sleep until 7:00 and then we would begin the day. I will be back: threat or promise, you decide.

The boys have all been warned of the impending water to be dumped on their heads if they do not get up within minutes. The darkness outside is due to the very cloudy nature of the morning. What will they bring? Snow? Rain? Nothing? Time will tell.

Yesterday I went to the bank and Staples and the post office. Today I need to go back to Staples because I forgot one thing that I wanted and two of the things I got are not quite what I wanted. At least I found my Rewards card. And I can take the empty ink cartridges I forgot to yesterday.

I also got a big envelope ready to go with cards for Alisha and Imani. Imani’s birthday card is very late and by the time they get them, the Thanksgiving cards will be as well. Hopefully the thought counts for something.

I also got twenty-four invitations to the Young Women in Excellence ready to go and in the mail. I think they are kind of cool and I am very glad for modern technology that allows a person to see something online and tweak it to fit their needs. I ‘borrowed’ an invitation that another ward somewhere in the United States used and I am going to use it for the program as well. I also worked on the program yesterday and other than the information that I don’t have for it yet, it is all done.

Yesterday afternoon Joanna took her Jeep over to Ray’s so he could do the brakes. Paul called and told me she needed something else. I thought he said calipers but he says he said rotors. I told Joanna calipers so that’s what she got. Paul is going to get the rotors when he goes to get his hair cut this morning and he’ll drop them off with Ray on his way to work along with a part that the truck needs. (The truck is almost done, finally, yay!) In the meantime, Joanna is going to need a ride to school this morning. I’ll take her in the Jetta and probably pick her up in the van because Paul ought to be gone by the time she needs to be picked up.

Right now I am going to go print some papers for Cedric. They are printing and I think it’s snowing out and Seth is going to need that glass of cold water dumped on his head. He also needs a good talking to because Joseph announced to Cedric that they were going to get two Halo guys from Logan. “Logan next door?” I asked? Joseph nodded. “Don’t take ANYthing from Logan,” I said. “Nothing.”

They have been instructed to take nothing from Logan and if Logan manages to give them something, to give it to Mr. Hale, the bus driver, and tell him that it is Logan’s. I want nothing to do with that child. He has been nothing but trouble since the day the boys began playing with him.

It is snowing outside. Seth is finally out of bed and Joanna needs to get up. I don’t like being late and it drives me crazy when other people push the limits even if it doesn’t directly affect me.

Anyway, back to yesterday. I made cupcakes to take with me to the Meet the Doula Night because we were having a Fall Festival after any potential patients (I still would prefer to call them clients) left. There were no potential patients so after we introduced ourselves, which took the better part of an hour, we brought out the food and ate and talked and ate some more. Liz hadn’t been able to have the unit specific orientation yet but she was able to after the introductions so she’ll be able to attend births now.

I signed up for the 11-7 last night but I called in to see if anyone was in labor (no one was) and to leave my number in case anyone came in (no one did). It was nice to sleep but I did wake up at least three times during the night and felt compelled to check my phone to be sure I hadn’t missed any calls. When I woke up at about 5:45 I still hadn’t missed any and it was time to make sure Amena was at least awake and getting up because she needed to have a paper printed out and really needed to write another paragraph but didn’t have time for that.

While we were doing introductions, I mentioned that all I have to do to apply for the nursing program at the Mount is take microbiology and that I’ve been seriously considering that. Which is odd because I have. The odd thing is that I’ve been seriously considering it. I don’t like hospitals and I think that most women who give birth in them sell themselves short. Anyway, it is true that I am lacking only microbiology. If I were enrolled in it, I could apply this spring. I think I might take a little trip up to the Mount soon and talk to an advisor. Today might even be a good day if I am giving Joanna rides (which I might be because she doesn’t want to drive the van).

Sometimes I don’t know why I say things. The bit about applying for the nursing program last night is one of them. But then as I was leaving, I had an epiphany. In Massachusetts, a CNM is not allowed to attend homebirths and a CPM is not allowed to attend birth in a hospital. If an RN wants to become a CNM and do homebirth, she is required to give up her RN. The thought that came to me is that I have heard nothing about being an RN and CPM. As an RN, I could work in a hospital and as a CPM I could attend homebirths. The two could work together very well.

It is time to go for now. Joanna needs to leave soon. The boys need to leave soon. I haven’t had time to discuss Pitocin yet but I will before I am done for the day.

11:09 am

Well, here I am again. I just have a few quick bullet points about Pitocin and then I’m done. For now. Promise.

Good news:

*        Pitocin can get a stalled labor going again

*        if mom is really pooped out, a little Pitocin boost may be what she needs to finish up

*        if mom is ‘overdue’, Pitocin might be able to get things going (remembering that if the cervix isn’t ripe, Pitocin will do nothing to ripen it)

*        when the water has broken and nothing is really happening, Pitocin may provide the little boost needed to get things going

Bad news:

*        Pitocin can cause hyperstimulation of the uterus which leads to prolonged contractions which may result in

o   abruption placenta

o   uterine rupture

o   decreased oxygen to baby

o   rapid labor resulting resulting in

§  cervical or perineal lacerations

§  pelvic hematoma

§  trauma to the baby

*        Pitocin is antidiuretic and mom has an IV (that’s how she gets the Pitocin—along with the fluids) so she has a good chance of developing water intoxication which may result in

o   irregular heart beat

o   hypotension

o   nausea and vomiting

o   excessive swelling

o   difficulty nursing

*        for baby, those prolonged contractions are likely to cause a decreased oxygen supply which will result in heart rate decelerations

*        also, baby may end up jaundiced

*        lastly, baby may have a decreased clotting capacity

Sorry, that’s longer than I thought it would be. As you can see, while there are some good reasons to use Pitocin, there are also some good reasons not to use it. No matter what the circumstances, the pros and cons should be carefully weighed before making a suggestion and the next time someone suggests its use because the doctor is going off shift in an hour, I might vomit.

With that cheerful thought, have a great day!

Epidurals and Knitting (or Purling)

Good morning! It is a lovely sunny day out! And we are hovering at 12 or 13 degrees Fahrenheit with a feels-like temperature of -2°F. Groovy. I’m thinking we should all go outside and do a rain dance or something...

Yesterday was a pretty okay kind of Sunday. We went to church and delivered a few bags of potatoes. We came home and had corned beef. I did the potatoes and carrots the way Paul likes but the cabbage the way I like. Paul’s way is to put everything in the pot at the same time. My way is to put the corned beef in for a couple of hours then add the potatoes and carrots for about an hour and then the cabbage about 15 minutes before time to eat. I don’t know how anyone can eat and actually LIKE the vegetables so mushy that the only reason the potatoes hold their shape is because I didn’t peel them. That’s just grossly disgusting.

After lunch, we had ice-cream. I know, brilliant idea when the temperature outside feels like 0°F. Too bad 0 means really cold instead of nothing. I mean, I like winter. I do. But the reason I like winter is because I like snow. It is quite possible to have a lovely winter with lots of snow and not get below 25°F. Maybe even 30°F. Anything lower for more than a few hours is just absolutely ridiculous and makes keeping the goats watered really difficult when their heated bucket decides to quit working.

I made a cocoa cake with crushed candy canes in it and made mint frosting for it. It’s yummy and turned out well but it either needs more candy canes in the cake or less mint in the frosting (and I didn’t think I put that much in). Amena and the boys watched a movie while I worked on invitations for Young Women in Excellence which turned out to be quite an endeavor because I ended up going through the whole list of girls and comparing it to names, addresses, and phone numbers in the ward directory.

Paul took 20 bags of potatoes down to Worcester to the Storehouse and said it was lots of fun driving the van home in the wind. It was really windy last night. Really windy. Would have been perfect for sound effects for Halloween.

At church yesterday, I took out my sweater to work on it and Cedric said, “I want to knit.” I thought about telling him I’d teach him at home but sometimes the best time is when interest is expressed, not when it is convenient. So I showed him how to purl since that’s what needed to be done. He caught on pretty well. When we got home I did get him started on a scarf. I don’t know how far it will go but it was kind of cool.

Did you know that not only do epidurals not guarantee complete pain relief but they only work on the sensations of contractions? When a woman gets an epidural, she is confined to bed because of the catheter stuck into her back and she has to have the monitors on, further restricting movement. According to one study, 15 percent of the women who had an epidural experienced no pain relief and most women report that they have decreased pain but that it is not complete. So, you have to be confined to your bed and you may or may not have some degree of relief.

On the other hand, I have seen women who received an epidural and because they were not feeling the brunt of the contractions, they were able to relax more and thus the contractions were more productive.

When babies are posterior (face-up), they often will turn during the course of labor to an anterior (face-down) position which is more favorable for birth. When mama receives an epidural, baby is less likely to rotate. This leads to more interventions including more drugs, forceps or vacuum delivery, and cesarean birth. Kind of a give and take there heavy on the give.

Perfectly healthy babies often end up in the NICU simply because of the drugs their mother’s received. In order to be sure that baby is reacting to a drug and does not have a serious problem, they must go to the NICU. NICUs are wonderful when needed but it is a waste of valuable resources when healthy babies must go there because they’ve been drugged up, often at the encouragement of medical personnel.

Administration of epidurals often leads to further interventions and the risks inherent to their use. I already mentioned the fact that when mama gets an epidural she has to be hooked up to the monitor. Continuous electronic fetal monitoring (EFM) results in increased cesarean births. And as the baby is affected, the heart rate often drops enough that fetal scalp-blood sampling is warranted.

Administration of an epidural means that mama’s blood pressure must be much more closely monitored because she can experience a drop in blood pressure. This decreases the amount of oxygen the baby gets which causes fetal distress. In order to counteract the drop in blood pressure, IV fluids are given. While this helps that problem, it also creates swelling in mama’s feet, legs and breasts. This can be and often is a problem when mama wants to breastfeed her baby and baby can’t get a good latch because the breasts are too full of fluid.

When an epidural works, mama cannot feel the signals that indicate she needs to urinate. Because she is also receiving IV fluids, her bladder is filling up. A full bladder interferes with effective pushing and can cause other problems because it is in the way of baby getting out. This leads to catheterization which leads to an increased risk of bladder infection. In the case of bladder infection, mama will need antibiotics which kill good bacteria as well as good and do affect the baby if mama breastfeeds.

Sometimes, an epidural will, because it interferes with the intricate hormonal feedback system of the body, cause labor to slow down. Pitocin is the next step in such a case which is another reason for continual EFM which leads to increased interventive births.

It is interesting to note that a woman who has either an epidural or Pitocin and an epidural, will take longer to push her baby out than a woman who remains unmedicated. The difference is 83.3 minutes compared to 47.7.

As mentioned above, epidurals often lead to delivery with forceps or vacuum. Even when a hospital or doctor does not heavily use episiotomies, an episiotomy is almost always used with forceps and vacuum deliveries. This increases the chance of deep tears which are painful and take longer to heal than smaller ones. They may also cause future fecal incontinence and painful sex.

When a woman receives an epidural, she loses the ability to sweat in the affected area which is often more than half of her body. This leads to an increased basal temperature and it also leads to an increased fetal temperature. An infection in a newborn is very serious and one of the indicators of infection is increased temperature. When mama has had an epidural, baby is often born with an increased temperature and medical personnel do not know for certain if it is just because of the epidural or because of infection. Due to not being able to tell, the baby must be treated as if infection is present which cases more pain, more anxiety, and increased expenses.

Finally, epidural anesthetics actually do cross through the placenta and have been found to be as high as one-third of maternal blood levels. It takes a full 48 hours for a newborn to eliminate the drugs from its system and it takes up to five days to overcome behavioral effects which include trembling, irritability, and immature motor activity). The aftereffects of the drugs can have an impact on a mother’s relationship with her child if she perceives her baby as being ‘difficult’ in some way during the first hours and days after birth.

Had enough yet? Want the low-down on Pitocin? It won’t take long but I think I’ll spare you for now.

Have a great day!

Long Day

Good morning! Woke up to a sunny, somewhat white world. The boys all were getting ready to go out and play in the, according to Seth, centimeter of snow. They did, too. I decided to make rolled oats for them even though none of them requested it and when I called them in to eat, they were all down by the creek. Cedric had Kitty on his shoulders and it would have made a really cute picture if I’d had the camera with me and if I had been closer to them.

Currently, the wind is blowing and snow is swirling, sparkling in the sun. It’s quite pretty until you go outside and can’t breathe because the wind is either taking your breath away or filling your face with very small, frozen particles of snow.

Yesterday was quite a day. Oh my goodness. At 8:55 (approximately), I checked Facebook and saw a post that reminded me that there was a baby shower at 10:00 that I’d completely forgotten about. Well, not completely forgotten about but had completely convinced myself that it was next week (which isn’t the 23rd so I’m not sure how I convinced myself but I did; somehow). Next week is perhaps an even more wonderful thing happening but since it’s in Nevada and I’m here and there is no way I could afford to fly out there, I won’t be there. Which is very sad because it’s all about my very best friend in the world but it’s also very happy because it’s my very best friend in the world.

Anyway, I’d forgotten about this baby shower and so of course I did not have a ball made or even a bar of soap ready to go. I needed to hop in the shower and eat breakfast (I could have skipped breakfast but didn’t know that at the time). That left me with no time to do anything so I hopped in the bug and took off. I actually could have done something because I was 15 minutes early (was the first one there, actually). However, on the way, the battery light came on and I spent the 15 minutes attempting to call Paul to see what he suggested I do about it. He suggested I just drive home when the time came and if anything happened, call.

So, I enjoyed the shower and will forever be amazed at how differently I view life. Everything from childbirth and pregnancy to muffins. I’m not sure how it happened but I really just don’t feel like I completely fit in anywhere. I seriously want to cry sometimes.

When I left, the engine light was on, the battery light was on and the glo plug light was flashing. As I approached Gardner, the ABS and air bag lights came on. As I took the Pearson Blvd. exit, a bell dinged at me three times. As I drove along Pearson and turned onto South Main, I got dinged at more; it became a continuous thing—ding, ding, ding, ding... I turned on to Union and everything was pretty much the same. I turned on to 68 and some of the lights dimmed and some others came on. I didn’t get very far and I couldn’t go very fast so I pulled over to the side, thinking that I’d go as long as I could at whatever speed I could and it died. I called Paul.

We would hook up the jumper cables and the bug would start. Sometimes it wouldn’t go anywhere before it died again and we’d have to hook it back up. Sometimes it would go a dozen yards or so. It was nice the couple of times it got to the top of a hill and it would coast down and then the momentum would take it up a bit. After the first jump, Paul manned the bug and I did the van. He wanted to get it at least over the Hubbardston line because then we could tow it the rest of the way. As we were approaching Pitcherville, we saw Jack and Henry Foley’s dad walking their dog. Once we got turned onto Pitcherville, he helped to push it and then Paul hopped in and drove it as far as it would go. That took 50 minutes. Then we left the bug and went to get a tow strap and went back and towed the bug the rest of the way. It ended up taking an hour and thirty minutes to get me and the bug home from the shower. What a fun time that was.

Then Paul and I decided to take the boys with us to get potatoes. None of them wanted to go but sometimes we all have to do things that we don’t want. Cedric was downright belligerent about it and did his best to make the beginning of the trip and the time we spent getting loaded with potatoes as miserable for everyone else as possible. Seth and Joseph fell in love with the dog that lives on the farm; he is a very nice dog and loves to get attention.

Once we got to Bub’s and the boys got food and drink, they were all much happier. Especially Cedric. The boys all had chicken strips. There is a hot and cold bar with stuff like baked beans, French fries, beets, potato salad. French fries were the most popular at our table but all the chicken disappeared as well. When we left, there was snow swirling in the air and the way home was rather snowy. At times we were driving through what looked like the stars in Star Wars. I remember thinking how cool that looked when I was a kid but once I learned to drive, I found out how not fun it is driving through that cool stuff. It was very windy much of the time and there were a few places where the road was white. There were a few places where the road was very slick.

When we got home, the boys hurried and showered and finished watching “Captain America.” Pretty exciting. I’d been thinking about the whole pregnancy/birth/labor and doctor/medical system thing and started typing some of my thoughts last night. You’ll get them in a bit.

And that’s about it for yesterday.

Brigham Young once said, “Would you want doctors? Yes, to set bones. We should want a good surgeon for that, or to cut off a limb. But do you want doctors? For not much of anything else, let me tell you, only the traditions of the people lead them to think so; and here is a growing evil in our midst. It will be so in a little time that not a woman in all Israel will dare to have a baby unless she can have a doctor by her. I will tell you what to do, you ladies, when you find you are going to have an increase, go off into some country where you cannot call for a doctor, and see if you can keep it. I guess you will have it, and I guess it will be all right, too. Now the cry is, “Send for a doctor.” If you have a pain in the head, “Send for a doctor;” if your heel aches, “I want a doctor;” “my back aches, and I want a doctor.” The study and practice of anatomy and surgery are very good; they are mechanical, and are frequently needed. Do you not think it is necessary to give medicine sometimes? Yes...” (Journal of Discourses, volume 15, page 225. Accessed online at http://jod.mrm.org/1.)

There are times when I feel like I am in an ocean of humanity and there is not a single person I can relate to. Why? Because so many people buy in to the whole medical myth. And I don’t. To begin with, I am grateful for hospitals and doctors. Amena would not be alive today if not for a lovely, wonderful miracle worker in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Amena, Cedric and Seth would not be alive if not for many surgeons and other medical personnel. Am I grateful? You bet I am. However, in spite of being told that I needed to have a cesarean birth for Alisha, I managed to push her out. Interesting, that.

It is hard to adequately express my disappointment in humanity at times. Right now is one of those times. I get it that if you have placenta previa you ought to give birth in the hospital. I know how dangerous that can be and I would NEVER suggest that a woman who has it give birth at home or anywhere OTHER than a hospital. I get it that if you have high blood pressure you should give birth in the hospital. I get it, okay? I really do.

I also get that not all women have to give birth in a hospital. After my first, I successfully gave birth to seven more babies OUT of the hospital. Laura was born at home with and RN. Joanna was born at home with a CNM. Daniel was born at home with a MD and his RN nurse who was ready to sit for her midwifery exam. Amena was born at a birth center with a CPM. Cedric was born on the side of the road in our van on the way to the center. Seth was born at home before the CPM could get there. Joseph was born at home with a CPM. Do you get it? I get it.

Women buy into all the crap that they are told by those in the medical field. And I believe that those who work in the medical field buy into it as well. We spout ‘evidence-based’ medicine all the time and it seems pretty obvious that we do not indeed have it.

Do you get that a high-risk pregnancy does not mean that the labor and birth will be high-risk as well? It might, but the one doesn’t always follow the other. From a western-medical point of view, I was high risk for some of my pregnancies. With Joseph, I was 35 or older. That’s high-risk. With Joanna, Daniel, Amena, Cedric, Seth, and Joseph, I had asthma. That’s high-risk. With Seth, I had had six completed pregnancies resulting in live births and with Joseph, I had had seven. That’s high-risk. Do you get it? I do. Obviously, I am one heck of a baby-making-having machine. Hmmmm. If I were to have another baby, I would really be high-risk: over 35, asthma, overweight, grand multi-tip. Who knows what else they’d come up with. Do you get it? I don’t.

The thing that makes me so sad is that we believe everything we hear from the medical establishment. Do I agree with the quote from Brigham Young? Well, yes. And no. I do believe that we have gotten to the point where we don’t dare give birth without a doctor at our side (or at our feet, as the case usually is). I do believe that there are times when it would be foolish to give birth without a doctor at our side. HOWEVER, not all women need a doctor at every birth. I have been lucky. I get that. I also get that had I been giving birth in hospitals, I most likely would have ended up with a cesarean birth at some point or another. If with none of the others, probably with Amena due to the way labor developed (and which I have discussed elsewhere and so will not elaborate on here). Since Cedric was born in New Mexico and I do not know what the VBAC policies were twelve years ago, I am willing to say that there is at least a decent chance that he would have been born via repeat cesarean. I can tell you that had that happened, Seth and Joseph would have also because when we were in Idaho, the nearest hospital to allow VBACs was in western Spokane, Washington. I get that. Do you? Do you see how it could have been? Do you see how it would have been? I do.

There are times when pain killers can be of use in labor. If labor has been going on for a very long time and mama hasn’t been able to get any rest, she might need a break and something like an epidural might be just the ticket. In the occasional case when there is a true failure to progress, Pitocin and a pain med may be what is needed. If Pitocin is indeed used, chances are pretty good that mama is going to need something for the pain because the contractions tend to be so much stronger and often last longer and are usually more painful. If a cesarean birth ends up being necessary, pain meds are of course indicated. These things should be held back for those times when they are needed rather than as routinely used as they are now.

Tomorrow I would like to discuss epidurals. I actually would like to right now but this is already longer than I anticipated and you’d probably like a break. Therefore, have a wonderful rest of the day!

This and That

Good morning! Well, sort of. It’s not as cold here as it is in some places and it isn’t as warm as it is in other places. We have clouds and blue sky and some sunshine when the clouds cooperate. Some children need to cooperate as well.

Yesterday was rather much like I expected it to be for the most part. Our visit to the dentist went without incident. Joseph does have a couple of little cavities that need to be taken care of. After that, we went to get grain and alfalfa for the goats. I managed to drive right by it but turned around before we got to New Hampshire. That was relatively uneventful.

On the way to drop the boys off at school, we thought we saw Joanna and then I did see Paul at Ray’s talking to him. After I dropped the boys off, I did see Joanna on Pitcherville so the first Jeep we saw evidently wasn’t her. More about the Jeep in a bit. When I walked into the school with Seth and Joseph to let them know in the office that they were there, I said, “Seth and Davis are here!” Seth and Davis? I corrected myself, “Seth and Joseph are here.”

I wondered why Paul would be talking to Ray when it was almost 11:00. He often leaves the house relatively late but almost often by 9:00 (which to me would be late). Well, I found out that Joanna had asked Paul about some mechanical issues with the Jeep so he went with her to Gardner to have someone look at the clutch or transmission or both. It appears that yes, she does need one or another or maybe both. Hopefully just the clutch because the transmission will be too expensive and she thinks she would just get another vehicle. At least for now. Anyway, while looking at those things, it was discovered that her brakes are so bad that she should not be driving. At all.

I had time for lunch and to read and to work on a book report and then it was time to go visit Laurie with Julia. That was good. I remembered that I wanted to take my library card to check a book out but I forgot it and I think the library closes early on Friday anyway so I wouldn’t have been able to get the book.

Amena had just gotten off the bus when I got home.

Seth had a birthday party to go to at Roll On America. I took him in the van because the lights had come on in the bug when I went to Gardner and I didn’t want to have to drive home from Leominster at 15 miles an hour. At that speed, it would take almost two hours. I didn’t want to do that. Especially since if I did, it would be time to turn around and go get him as soon as I got home almost. Amena was going to go to the dance at school but because Joanna shouldn’t be driving her Jeep, Joanna wasn’t able to provide transportation. Joanna said that Amena thought that I would take her but there was no way. She’s been to all the dances I think so far anyway and really doesn’t need to go to all of them. Zak was here so I suppose maybe he could have been roped into taking her but I don’t think either he or Joanna were excited about that idea.

Paul got home with some milk and then it was time to go get Seth. Once we got there, I went in and Seth was in the laser tag. Apparently they have a group of kids in playing, a group of kids in waiting to play, and a group of kids waiting to get in. Apparently, Seth was in the group of kids waiting to get in when I got there but I didn’t realize it. A group came out and Seth wasn’t in it. Another group came out and Seth wasn’t in it. Games last for 10 minutes. I was there waiting for about ever, or so it seemed, before Seth finally came out. By the time we finally got out to the car, Paul and I had been there for 39 minutes.

Anyway. In other news, I went to take a shower in the morning before taking the boys to the dentist and when I came downstairs, I noticed that Cedric had brought in a load of wood before leaving for school. Without my asking or reminding. I like that. When I got home from visiting Laurie, Paul had gotten the fire ready to be lit. I suppose that means it wasn’t really a fire at that point but it was a fire-in-waiting.

Right now I am going to finish this up and have something to eat. Have a great day!

Take it Back!

Good morning! I really need to go feed a Kitty so I’ll be right back.

Well, I fed Kitty and the other cat and, yes, I know she’ll never go away if I feed her but if I don’t feed her, she’ll eat all of Kitty’s food and then Kitty will go away. I like Kitty; she’s a good one and catches things. She is also very friendly and likes to sit on my shoulders. She’s a keeper.

Yesterday was a busy one. I went to see my friend Christine in Auburn. She’s just a lovely woman and has two of the cutest boys and a pretty daughter and is expecting another girl in January. If all goes well, I’ll be able to go to her birth which will be absolutely wonderful. I did have to wait for either the bug to start (which it didn’t) or the van to be ready to go (which it was around 9:30) but visiting with Christine was worth the wait.

On the way, I needed to stop and get fuel. I didn’t want to use any of the containers of fuel at the house because I really would have needed to put in two and I knew that Paul wanted at least one for the Jetta and quite frankly, the bug could use one too. So, I determined to go to Leominster even though I don’t usually go that way when I’m going to Worcester or points south of it. I forgot about the road work on the exit by the gas station I like to stop at and missed the exit I should have taken so I had to do to the next one which is by the mall where Joann’s is located. That isn’t really too far out of the way and only took a few minutes but then the exit to get back on route 2 was blocked so I had to go back to the one by the mall in order to get back on. That was fun and exciting. At least I had good music to listen to.

When I got home, there were so many things that I really needed to do that I didn’t really do anything. I fixed a grilled cheese sandwich and read a little bit but then it was almost time for Amena to be home. Once she’s home, the boys will be home in about an hour and that’s all she wrote for me getting anything done. I did fold some laundry in the morning and washed a couple of loads, one in the afternoon. When the boys were home, it was a push to get wood brought in and homework done. Seth and Joseph didn’t take long to get their math done and then Joseph read his two books to me. He’s getting pretty good at reading. I found three books for Seth to read and timed him for his 20 minutes and had him write it down on a reading log so that it will be done next week when it’s time to turn it in.

Then it was time to eat so that we could go to the pack meeting. The boys did turkey bowling. They made ‘pins’ out of empty 1.5 and 2 liter soda bottles. It was a lot of fun and Cedric won the whole thing. He was really good. I do have some pictures on my phone. I’ll get them off and get them posted somewhere today. While there, Jamie Pitney, the cub master, asked for a volunteer to be a committee chairperson. He warned us last month that they needed someone in order to stay chartered for the coming year and I figured I really ought to do it because Cedric and Seth have been doing scouts for a few years and Joseph has a few to go. I’m not sure yet if they’ll stay with Hubbardston once they reach boy scouts or go to church because I don’t know how actively they’re doing things at church but Seth still has this and next year and Joseph has until he’s in 5^th grade. Anyway, I told Jamie that I would last night so I will now have scout meetings to attend upon occasion which should add to my already fun-filled life.

Once we got home, it was past bed time, of course, so that’s what we did.

Today is going to be another busy day. Seth and Joseph have dentist appointments this morning and since we’ll be most of the way to the feed store in Winchendon, we’ll go pick up goat fodder. We need the works: sweet grain, alfalfa, and crimped oats. That should be fun. I think I’ll take lunches for them with us so they can eat on the way to school. I also think I’ll just plan on taking the van because there isn’t a lot of room for 50 pound bags of stuff in the bug. Besides, we have to leave by 8:30 and the bug might not want to start. I did plug in the van when we got home last night.

This afternoon Julia and I are going to go visit Laurie. That will be nice. Hopefully Julia was able to get to see Catalina last night. I scheduled for us to visit her and then remembered that we had a pack meeting.

Anyway, I’ll have time to get some reading and studying of phlebotomy done in the between times and hopefully there will be time for some hot chocolate as well.

This evening we have a lot going on. Amena has a dance. Seth has a birthday party in the opposite direction. Paul wants to go get potatoes over by Amherst which is in kind of another direction. I’m not sure yet how we’re going to pull it all off, but I’ll figure something out.

Right now some boys are having a really hard time getting out of bed. Joseph finally arrived but he has two brothers upstairs who aren’t doing anything more than yell (mostly Seth) and be annoying. Fun times. Even though Seth and Joseph have dentist appointments, they don’t have time to dilly dally the morning away and I think they, especially Seth, think they do.

In other news, I am deeply saddened by the general attitude of women in the United States. We have probably the worst infant and maternal mortality and morbidity rates of any ‘industrialized’ country. We also have some of the most medicalized maternity care. In watching the first two seasons of The Walking Dead in the last couple of weeks, I ran across the part where Lori discovers that she is pregnant. Glenn says, “You have a medical condition.” And that is about the size of it. Birth is NOT a medical condition but in the United States we have been conditioned to believe that it is. We have been conditioned to believe that only in the hospital can labor and birth be properly managed. We have been conditioned to believe that if we give birth anywhere other than a hospital, or perhaps a birth center, all kinds of horrible things might happen to us or our babies. We have been conditioned to stop listening to our bodies, to stop trusting that they can work, to relinquish control of the whole process. It is time, in the words of Robin Hood, to “take it back!” (We won’t talk about the one birth that takes place in that movie because it’s super medicalized and the mother and baby both miraculously lived in spite of having a cesarean in the middle of the forest with very unsterile conditions. If a cesarean birth is to take place, I do believe that conditions should be sterile. And we’ve just talked about it, sorry.)

Well, I would go on but a couple of boys need to finish getting ready to go and I need to get in the shower. Have a great day!

Slow Morning

I really need to go wake up the boys. Amena got up and got ready and is on the bus. There are some pretty clouds in the sky. I really would like to go back to bed myself. I think the boys would all like to stay in bed as well. Such is life. This might be short because Joanna ought to need to use my computer. This is a very disjoined paragraph.

Cedric was doing his homework on the roof of the barn yesterday afternoon in spite of the temperature. He was telling me about how the cats like the chip things he had with him for a snack.

Yesterday I wrote my first book report for Birth Arts International. They are who oversees the doula training at Heywood. My report was four pages long because the cover page says at the bottom, “Additional Comments.” That’s funny. Silent Knife and it wants additional comments. Oh, what fun that was. The really cool thing is that not only are we supposed to submit our papers to Birth Arts, we also give a copy to the woman who oversees the doulas at the hospital. I am very curious to hear what she thinks of what I wrote.

Never content to just sit, he had to walk around as well.

I also did a lot of other stuff yesterday that did revolve around doula homework and did not revolve around studying for phlebotomy. I really need to spend time studying for that because while many of the answers I know, there are some that still throw me and I need to get them under my proverbial belt. The sooner, the better.

He had lots of help. He was telling me here that I should go back inside because both cats were leaving since I was outside. We need to find a home for the one that appeared.

In other news, I don’t know what we are going to do about this other cat that has decided to adopt us. She eats Kitty’s food (I have been giving her her own but she still eats Kitty’s too) and wants in the house all the time. I really think she must have been an indoor cat wherever she was before. I don’t like the idea, but I was thinking about taking her out and dropping her off somewhere far away. Or I could try an animal shelter. Something.

The boys are having a really hard time getting going this morning so I am off. Have a wonderful day!

Fairly Typical Day

Good morning! I’ve been rather sparse this month, eh? No matter. Life is life. Right now I am eagerly awaiting Amena’s appearance from upstairs. I know she is awake and up but I do not know at what degree of readiness for the day she is. That’s pretty typical. I know that there are two boys asleep in their beds and one in mine. Well, two in mine but I don’t have to worry about getting one of them up and ready for school. Actually, Amena is the only worry because she just doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not cool to miss the bus and that when you get up in the morning, you have to get ready. Quickly.

This is the hot spiced apple 'cider' we had last night. I thought it was funny that the cinnamon sticks were staning up.

I had things timed so that I knew exactly when to leave the house in order to be to school just after the first bell rang which gave me time to leave things in my locker and get to class before the second bell rang. I wasn’t getting ready up to the time I needed to leave, though, I was ready. I just left at the time I needed to. Daniel was the same way. He got up, he got dressed, he ate, he got ready. When the bus came, he was out waiting for it. Miss that boy.

There was a nice sunrise yesterday when I got home.

Monday night I went in for my shift at the hospital. I was beginning to think that hospitals didn’t give me headaches any more but I sure came home with a doozy yesterday morning. I actually took a pill for it before I took a shower and went to bed because I didn’t want it keeping me up. I actually came home an hour early, too, because there wasn’t anything happening and I thought it would be nice to get the boys off. I got home before Amena left, barely.  It was rather a dull night because there was nothing happening. I prefer nights when someone is in labor. Having someone there makes it easier to stay awake, although I didn’t really have a problem with that for some reason. Probably because I brought a few snacks that I ate at strategic times and because I would get up and walk around every hour or so and because I had water and kept drinking it and therefore had to use the bathroom periodically. [And, just so you know, the computer doesn’t like that last sentence. Silly computer.] Anyway, I didn’t come home with the horrendous headache when there was someone there either.

I think I like this one the best.

Once the boys were on the bus and I had eaten and done the other little things I needed to do, I took a shower and went to bed. I was hoping that I would sleep longer than an hour and fifteen minutes and didn’t set my alarm. Very happily, I didn’t wake up until 11:00 and I closed my eyes wondering if I might be able to catch a few more minutes. I was. I woke up again a couple of minutes past noon and got up. Four hours is a whole lot better than one and a quarter and I wasn’t grumpy (although some boys might not agree) at supper time like I was last week. I was still ready to go to bed at 10:00 though.

I really don't usually care for pink and oranges and yellows aren't my favorites but when the color is in nature (sunset, sunrise, flowers, leaves, etc.), it isn't bad.

Sunday afternoon Paul went to visit a friend of his. This particular friend is like a father to him and was just diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. It’s already in his liver as well and Paul says that he didn’t even recognize Fred when he went down. He figured out that the guy in the pajamas must be Fred due to who else was there and how the conversation was going but he doesn’t look or sound like himself. Fred is a nice guy but has been ready to go for some time because he misses his wife who has been gone for many years. It is his step daughter to whom Paul was engaged when he joined the church. Her name is Pam. Ha ha ha. Paul isn’t on her list of favorite people because Paul helped convince Fred to have life support turned off when that is what Fred’s wife wanted but not what her children wanted. Life is hard, isn’t it?

Paul has been getting quotes to put a roof on the barn. He took the shingles off a few years ago. Before we arrived so it’s been at least five years (can you believe we’ll have been here for five years in March?). He has bought tarps to cover it up on several occasions at the tune of around $400. Four tarps at $400 each pays for more than half of the one quote that I’ve seen for roofing materials. Paul thinks it’s time to put the money in a roof rather than more tarps because tarps like to fall apart and weren’t really meant to take the place of a roof anyway.

In other news, the bug might need a new battery. It’s been having issues that are easily resolved with the charging of the battery. Since it’s had to be jumped once and charged twice, the other issue it was having has not resurfaced. Of course, I haven’t been driving it much to see if it will surface.

In other news, Monday was really warm. It got up to something like 60 degrees. Yesterday our high was 43° and that’s about what the rest of the week is supposed to look like.

In other news, there really isn’t any other news to report. The boys are all at the table either eating or getting ready to eat and all are in some stage of being ready for school. Seth and Cedric are dressed. Cedric has his backpack. I need to go finish their lunches so I’ll get this all posted when I’m done with that.

Have a fantabulous day! 

Thinking is Overrated

This is going to be short. I have been thinking much of family and friends today that I will never again see in this life. Daniel has really been on my mind this weekend so this evening we watched the videos that Becky and Jay made for us for Christmas two years ago. We watched the boys first, then Alisha and Imani, then the girls. . . and then Daniel. Some of the pictures are awful, some are really good; they all have so many memories attached.

One of my favorites of the boys is when they are on the floor with Daniel’s red Lego dragon surrounded by Lego men. Daniel was so proud of and happy with and always thinking of what to add next to his Lego collection. He was willing to share it, as well, and that is just one of the things that made him such a good big brother. I miss him so much.

Another of my favorites is one of Papa holding Daniel when he was a baby.  Papa tried to tell me that he didn’t remember how to hold a baby. I laughed and handed Daniel to him and we were lucky enough to get a picture of it. Joseph never got to meet Papa. I miss him so much.

Another one that I really like is from Amena’s baptism. There is a whole story behind the how and why of how that came to pass the way it did. The picture is of Amena with Doug Vaniman. I think one of the reasons why I like Doug is because he reminds me so much of Papa in so many ways. Being mere mortals, neither was perfect in this life, but both were as good and as honest a man as you could hope to find. I miss him.

These are just a drop in the bucket. There is my dad of whom we have very few pictures. There is my Uncle Mick who would take me for rides when I was a little girl on his motorcycle to Mt. Shasta to get ice-cream. There is my cousin Robert Lee. There is Parley Hamblin. There are many others who have impacted my life as well. I am glad that they all were, and indeed still are, a part of it.

Lovely Saturday Morning

Good morning! Quiet day around here so far. No soccer this morning. It’s been a couple of months since that happened. I kind of like it. I kind of miss it.

Amena is upstairs in her room. Joseph is outside with Kitty and Cat. Cat has decided to adopt us, I guess; she keeps coming around and follows us when we go out. I thought she belonged across the street but maybe not. Unless I want to go ask, I might not ever find out. Cedric is in the living room looking at a Where’s Waldo book avoiding washing his plate and fork from breakfast. Seth spent the night at Joey’s house and is there still. Joey has one sister and likes having a friend over because his sister has friends over all the time. Paul is sitting at the table eating an apple/walnut piece of coffee cake instead of a cinnamon roll to finish up his breakfast. Joanna is at work. I am sitting her typing this. Pretty exciting, eh?

Yesterday I watched “The Walking Dead” while I cut out scrub pants. I forgot to take into consideration the fact that I might need to lengthen them and only got as much fabric as the patterns said. The problem, as I see it, is that one of the patterns really didn’t call for enough even without my making them longer. It’s a good thing I am able to tweak enough to make things work and even with my magical abilities, one of them almost didn’t work anyway.

I also did a bit of phlebotomy study and dishes and firestarting and exciting things of that nature.

Goldilocks was delivered to the goat people. Have I told you about the goat people? It appears that I have not; at least, not any time since September 19 (which is when this section of 100 pages began). They’re names are Bella and Raven. Bella’s name used to be Michael. I don’t know if Raven’s name has changed or not. Bella and everyone who lives at the Cauldron Farm refer to Bella as a ‘she’. Raven used to be a she and now everyone refers to Raven as a ‘he’. When I took Snowflake over, Bella and I were talking and somehow we got to talking about how nasty girls can fight and Bella said, “That’s why I changed.” So, interesting people. They have goats and sheep and try to be as self-sufficient as possible.

Thursday I went to the school to talk to Seth’s teacher, Mrs. Churchill. I like her very much. Amena had her for 4^th grade as well. We are going to take some steps to see if we can’t get Seth to do his homework more consistently. I really do wonder, though, about Seth and school. Mrs. Churchill says that she works with Seth and that he struggles to get his work done and that he struggles with reading. I know that at home he doesn’t want to read or do his math but he knows how to do both. He knows exactly what to do in order to complete his math and I only do a little prompting. He knows how to read and reads some pretty good words with only a little help. Is his performance at school less than he is actually capable of? I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

Up for today is whatever I manage to get done. I have no idea what that will actually amount to. I’ll let you know tomorrow or Monday. And you’ll just have to wait again on my flu and Gardasil and school thoughts. Even though you probably already have an idea.

Adios. Have a great day! 

Picture Day

Today is one of those days I don't feel like sitting and typing so this will be exceptionally short and will include some pictures.
Have a terrific day!

From Joseph's last game. It was plenty cold.

This is actually the moon. The sun was just to the right. I took this the day after the solar eclipse that we couldn't see due to the clouds.

Cedric's last game. He was absolutely spectacular. Hot!

Seth had a really good game for his last one as well.

Running all over the place.

Sunrise this morning.

The colors actually seem to have turned out pretty well (they usually are so washed out in the picture).

It took so long to even get this far that pictures will have to wait for another day...

Good morning! The sun is shining; it is a balmy 31° here in Hubbardston, Massachusetts. Or, it was, 38 minutes ago.

Well, I don’t think I can really catch you up on what has been happening around here since Friday. It’s been crazy. Which isn’t unusual.

Saturday were our last soccer games of the season. Good games. Really good games. Seth played very well and Cedric was HOT!!! Smokin’ hot! Seth’s team won, as usual, but only 6 to 0. There were enough players for the coach to completely replace everyone (other than the goalie) every time he subbed. Really a good game (as usual). Cedric’s team won! Oh yeah! First stinking win of the season! They finally got it together and Cedric really hustled. He outshone himself. AND  . . . drumroll please . . . he made a goal! I missed it but Joseph and Paul got to see it (I was over at Seth’s game). Awesome! I did get some pictures and I’ll post them if I am able to upload them. If not, I’ll put them on Facebook and you can take a look that way.

Seth had a pizza party at 11:00 at the Pizza Palace in Hubbardston and Cedric had one at noon. I let Seth go over to Joey’s house after.

Cedric had a birthday party to go to at 3:00 in Templeton (which is just next door to Hubbardston—we are a quarter mile or less away from the town line) so I took him to that and then dropped a bag of goodies off for a girl from church. The party was for his friend Chris. They are in the same class. I like his mom; she reminds me of Aunt Cindy.

Sunday was Sunday. There was a baptism after church and because I happened to know that the guy likes Star Wars, I made Star Wars sugar cookies and Star Wars frozen juice/fruit/yogurt cubes for juices. The frozen stuff was good but should have been added to previously chilled juice or should have had more water and less other stuff to better retain shapes. Anyway, it was pretty cool. There was a lot of other food as well but I thought the Star Wars stuff might be a nice touch.

After church I don’t remember if we really ate any supper or if we just had snacks. We’d all eaten at church and weren’t really hungry after. I went to see Ruth with Paul.

Monday was Monday. I got everything accomplished on my list of things to do but still felt like the day was wasted because the one thing that I really, really wanted to do (sew) I didn’t get to. If I had a permanent sewing room, or even just a permanent place to set up machines, I would have been able to get some sewing done, but the job of getting everything out just to put it away again was too much and I didn’t do it.

Monday night I went to bed at 8:30 hoping to get an hour and a half of sleep before taking off to the hospital for my first doula shift at 11:00. I did get some sleep but I’m not sure how much. I got ready to go and went and arrived without incident. I didn’t realize that the south entrance is locked at night but my badge opened it so that is kind of cool. I understand the north entrance is locked as well and that the emergency entrance isn’t. Kinda makes sense.

At midnight the nurse in charge, I don’t know what the proper terminology is here, told me that it looked to be a quiet night and that I could go home if I wanted to. I had a book and knitting to keep me occupied so I decided that I would stay until 2:00; if nothing had happened at that point, I would go home. Well, something happened. I guess I can’t really tell you about it so I’ll have to write about it in another journal and I’ll post it in five years or so without names. Anyway, it ended up being a good night and I didn’t have any trouble staying awake although I was feeling tired around 5:00.

There were two doulas on the next shift, one of them was Patty; she and I are both in the ‘newbie’ group. It’s amazing to me how each of us has something unique to offer women. Something of value that no one else can duplicate.

It snowed during the night and I got home just in time to tell the boys good bye on their way out to the bus. It has been cold since it snowed so there is still some out there. It didn’t really stick on the roads so in some ways, it was a perfect storm—no snow on the roads, not much to deal with on sidewalks and driveways, white everywhere else. Except that the trees are mostly devoid of white now.

I had breakfast and went to bed. I set my alarm for 11:00 because Julia and I planned to go visiting teaching in the early afternoon. Although I was in bed shortly after 8:00 and I knew that my alarm would wake me up, I woke up at 9:15 with freezing cold feet. I guess I could have put on another quilt or blanket but my feet were so cold it was going to be a long time warming them up so I just got up and took a shower. I think I should have done that when I got home or at least before I went to bed and then put that quilt on. I might have slept longer.

So, I was up, I didn’t have to be anywhere yet, so I got out the sewing machine and started sewing. I didn’t get a whole lot done because I was also planning on going to Julia’s early because she had a sewing question for me. I went, we talked about sewing, we had some hot chocolate, and we went to visit Amy Troop first. Then we went to visit Janelle Lawrence. Good visits.

We had missionaries for supper. We had a roast with potatoes, onions and carrots, and soup warmed up. I have to say that by the time we were at that point, I was feeling a bit grumpy because I was very tired and was really feeling it. Once the boys were in bed, I went to bed and was out long before Paul went.

I didn’t wake up until my alarm went off at 5:55 and then I closed my eyes and thought about how much I didn’t want to get up. I next looked at my clock at 6:20, jumped out of bed, quickly threw on my morning clothes, and went to check on Amena. She’d just gotten up and I knew she wasn’t going to get ready to catch the bus in time. She didn’t.

I knew the van wouldn’t start because it was cold and it hadn’t been plugged in. The bug may or may not start due to the cold but I do know that it’s about to do it’s little magic trick of not wanting to go so I wasn’t about to even try. Paul has the Jetta key and I wasn’t about to ask for it because I know that Amena needs to get up earlier and I know that she needs to get to bed earlier and telling me about it when I ask for the key isn’t going to do anyone any good so I just wasn’t going to ask for the key. I explained these things to Amena when she said, “So, what am I going to do?” After explaining, I said, “Joanna and Zak are here.” She asked Joanna who’s response was that I could drive her Jeep. Groovy. I like driving the Jeep but I haven’t much and we needed to hurry even though I knew there was no way we were going to catch up with the bus at that time.

The passenger door won’t latch but I didn’t realize that’s why Joanna keeps it locked. Amena went out it, and it wouldn’t close. Great. I ended up sticking one end of the ice scraper in the handle and the other behind on the roll bar. That kept the door closed enough to get home. Hopefully Joanna knows the trick of getting it shut so she can lock it again.

I got back in time to make Joseph and Cedric meat sandwiches for lunch. Seth said he’d made a cheese sandwich but unless he made the bread, he didn’t really because I know how much bread there was and there was none missing. They all said they had lunches, and I’m sure they had food, I’m kind of curious to find out exactly what they took. I know for certain that Amena didn’t take the lunch yesterday that I’d made for her and she didn’t take it today either. It appears that the boys raided what was in it and left the rest in the bag on the little table by the brown chair. Hmmm.

And, wow, I was going to give you my take on the whole flu and Gardasil vaccine thing but I think I’ve done enough typing for the moment and there are a lot of things on my to-do list today (including sewing) so I think you’ll get that another day.

Have a spectacular day!