Curve

Good morning and Happy All Saints Day! And yes, of course, you know I celebrate all of these things.

I hate Halloween. Actually, I don’t. I love dressing up. I love Halloween parties. I hate trick or treating. I didn’t like it when I was a child and I don’t like it now. I would be perfectly happy to go buy some candy (or make it if I think of it enough ahead of time), make some hot chocolate and hot spiced apple cider, and eat candy and drink hot chocolate and cider while watching a movie. I like my plan. Next year Halloween will be on a Friday. I think we should have a candy eating, hot chocolate swilling, movie watching night at our house next year for Halloween and you can’t get in unless you have a costume on and we can have prizes and if you have a piece-of-crap costume from Walmart (or any other store that sells piece-of-crap costumes) you don’t get a prize. So let it be written; so let it be done.

This morning when I woke up and came downstairs, I thought it felt amazingly warm. When I went out to talk to Amena (because she was ready and out the door before the bus arrived, I was amazed at how warm it was outside. Wow. Nice. Last year it was really really cold right now at this time.  The boys were all surprised that it was so warm and as Paul walked out the door he said, “It’s warm!” And it is. Also raining at the moment.

A couple of days ago I was reading about labor in Silent Knife. There is a curve known as the Friedman’s curve that most, if not all, hospitals adhere to to some degree or another. Basically, it says that first time mom’s dilate from 0 to 4 cm in an average of 8.6 hours (+/- 6 hours), dilate from 4 to 10 cm in an average of 4.9 hours (+/- 4 hours), and push for an average of 1 hour (+/- 0.8 hours).  Most hospitals give you about 24 hours to have your baby so if you lean toward the longer times, 0 to 4 in 8.6 plus 6 or 14.6 hours, 4 to 10 cm in 4.9 plus 4 or 8.9 hours, pushing 1 plus 0.8 or 1.8 hours, you’ve gone over your allotted time by almost an hour and you probably had a cesarean long before for failure to progress. Expecting a woman to birth her baby 24 hours after labor starts is ridiculous, and expecting the stages of labor to progress the same for every woman is ridiculous. Come on, people. Remember that is just for first time moms. ‘Experienced’ mothers often have shorter times.

Just for fun, I went through all of my birth stories to come up with a rough idea of how I fit on this ‘curve.’ I don’t. Just so you know. However, this is what I discovered:

To begin with, I don’t know how long it took to dilate from 0 to 4 cm or from 4 to 10 cm. I’m not entirely sure how long pushing was, either. But I do know approximately when contractions began and when my water broke and when my babies were born.

With Alisha, contractions began in the early morning sometime between midnight and 6 am. They likely had been going on all night but they didn’t wake me up until sometime close to time to get up. My water broke around noon. Alisha was born at 3:24. Pushing was less than 20 minutes because I got to the hospital at 2:00 and was in the delivery room at 3:00 and they had to hook everything up and I didn’t start pushing until they told me to. So, let’s say that the real deal contractions began at 3:00 am. That being the case, total labor was twelve hours and 24 minutes.

My contractions with Laura began at 5:00 am and my water broke during pushing after 5:30 pm. She was born at 7:something pm. I’m not sure how long I pushed. Total labor was about 14 hours. Supposed to be shorter, eh? I never did like to play by the rules.

With Joanna, my contractions began about 7:30 in the morning of September 21. My water broke at 9:40. Joanna was born the next morning at 6:30. Total time in labor: 23 hours. Hmmmm. Shorter, you say? It seems no one told us that.

On March 3 at 2:00 am, Daniel began his entrance to the world as my water broke and contractions began. He was born at 12:20 am on March 4 (who can forget that?). Total labor for Daniel was twenty-two hours and twenty minutes. Pretty darn close to Joanna.

Amena has always been somewhat contrary. I didn’t say that. Seriously though, my water broke at 12:15 am on Christmas and contractions began at 12:45. Then they stopped. But there was that 24-hour rule and she needed to get out since my water broke. Contractions started again after 1:00 pm with the help of castor oil and Amena was born at 11:08 pm. Twenty-three hours and 53 minutes.

Oh my goodness. If Amena wanted to take her time, Cedric did not. He’s always kind of been that way. Contractions began at 5:00 am. My water broke during pushing and he was born at 1:20 pm. Eight hours and twenty minutes. Really? What about the rules?

The rules flew out the window. Contractions with Seth began around noon and my water broke between 5:00 and 6:30 pm. I’m thinking closer to 5:00 although there were two gushes so one might have been then and another half an hour or so later. Seth was born at 7:05 pm. Seven hours and five minutes. Really? When he wants to, he can be quick.

Contractions began as my water broke about 6:00 pm on August 21. This was my water birth and I was going to enjoy it. I did. Joseph was born at 2:11 am. Eight hours and eleven minutes.

What does this prove? Nothing, really. Each labor was different. Each pregnancy was different. Each child is different. Life was different. If I could go back and prepare exactly the same, exercise exactly the same, read exactly the same books, eat exactly the same foods, take the same prenatal vitamins or herbs, etc., etc., would the births have been the same. I don’t think so. I think the only thing that my different experiences points out is that women cannot be compared to a universal standard. Each one labors and births in her own way. While all labors and births are similar (we are all women giving birth), they are all incredibly unique and different as well. My longest labor was my fifth labor and my shortest was my seventh.

I have my own curve.

And that is all for now. Have a fantastic day!