Opposite Day

Good morning! My alarm went off at 5:00 but it took a few minutes for me to get up and make sure Amena was getting up. She was awake but still in bed. My alarm went off at 5:55 and it took me more than a few minutes to get up. At least Amena’s light was on and she was almost ready. By the time I got downstairs, it was 6:15 so I had time to throw together a lunch for Amena and find the paper she was supposed to return yesterday if she wanted to go to the honors breakfast next Saturday. I also managed to feed Kitty because Joseph brought me her dishes. She was inside helping me do Amena’s lunch and it was actually past the time I normally feed her so I don’t blame her for being annoyed. Right now I’m being annoyed because Cedric doesn’t want to take the goats out. If he’d just get out and do it, it would be done. However, taking them out this morning is another annoyance because we have these two bucks. They really need their own housing because I cannot have them in with the kids and it is supposed to rain this afternoon.

I really need to go milk but I also need to be sure that I have three boys dressed and ready for school and currently, I only have one boy mostly dressed. One is still out with the goats (and it isn’t the one that is supposed to be) and the other was upstairs getting dressed. Now he wants my phone number so he can give it to someone so he can go watch a movie tonight. After not taking the goats out? Really? I don’t know what the deal is around here today because the full moon isn’t for another five days. Pre-full-moon syndrome? Something.

Well, they’re all out now, as ready as they’re going to be for this day, and the bus is coming as evidenced by the mad dash to the end of the road. It really is amazing how interesting a day can be when it isn’t even 8:00 yet.

I am now going out to milk.

Now I am eating breakfast. Pretty exciting, eh?

Libby stepped in the bucket and spilled probably half of what I had (which wasn’t much because her kids take care of most of it) and I thanked her for being a goat and stepping in the bucket. I was working on the tone of voice because although she is getting used to me, she went through a lot of change in a short period of time and it’s easier to control the tone when the words aren’t ugly. However, since I don’t really get a lot of milk from her yet, she spends far more time eating than she does being milked. While I was waiting, I played with the kids and filled the cart with a load of hay, etc., from the pen and reflected on waiting. We all wait; some of us for substantial amounts of time. Some people wait in traffic for awful amounts of time. I wait for children, for goats, for a dog, even sometimes for a cat on a daily basis. Some days I wait for a phone call, for a woman to be in labor, for the mail to arrive.

Today I get to go to Joann’s. It is time to pick out a pattern for Kim’s wedding dress. That should be fun, I think. Hopefully it won’t involve much waiting. J

Long pause here. Lots going on and I’m quite sure there isn’t enough time for the telling before I have to leave but I will do what I can.

Life is full of opposites. Just one example is the shopping trip today. One couple I know is planning a wedding. Another couple I know has just separated. Joy and sorrow.

There is much sorrow in the world and some of us have been blessed, or cursed, depending upon the point of view, with empathy. My heart aches for my friends who are now separated. My heart aches for the Nigerian girls who were kidnapped. My heart aches for my own pain. I was thinking, “Is it not enough that my heart aches for my own pain? Why must I feel the pain of others as well?” And then, I thought, no, it is good to feel the pain of others. That is what keeps us human. That is what develops bonds between us. And, if we cannot share in the pain of others, we have no business sharing in the joy. I share this pain and I know that one day there will be joy—even if at this moment it feels that it will never happen, I know it will (unless we choose not to feel it and THAT is a whole other can of worms).

Speaking of these opposites, yesterday evening I went to a presentation at Emerson Hospital called A Physiologic Approach to Labor Support and Care. It was sponsored by AWHONN (Association of Women's Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses). The presenter was Chris Just, RN, MSN, CNM. Fairly early on she mentioned, as so many people do, that it’s okay to not have pain. Why? Do we want to strip away all feelings? I think that’s what our goal is. If we never experience pain, how will we ever know what pleasure is? If we never experience sorrow, how will we ever know joy? If we never experience love, how do we know hate? If we have no concept of hot, how do we know cold? And on and on it goes. So why is it okay to take the pain completely out of the childbirth equation? I don’t think it is.

Have a great day!